Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Do You Think Taxes Are Funny? Then You Are Either Weird or Eligible for This $10,000 Contest

Author: Nick
Category: Money
Topics: ,

While scouring the internet for somewhere to buy TurboTax’s Home and Business edition for a lot less money than I really want to pay, I came across this little contest running over at the place where lame wanna-be film artists go to die: YouTube.

Apparently all you have to do is make a video of a funny stand-up routine, as long as it’s about taxes, and then the least suckiest person wins $10,000 and gets to open for Jay Mohr who you may remember from his hot wife, Nikki Cox. To get you started, here are some jokes about taxes that you can use for your video that I just made up:

I’m out of work, my wife left me, I owe the IRS $50,000, I’m being audited for the sixth straight year, and I just found out my dog has rabies. On top of that, I apparently really suck at joke-writing because I thought “my dog has rabies” was an awesome punchline to “I owe the IRS $50,000.”

I went to my tax accountant the other day when he said he was done with my tax return. He’s at his desk clicking away at his computer when I come in—you know, doing tax accountant stuff—so I go up to him and I ask him, “Am I getting any money back this year.” He jumps out of his chair and shouts, “Yes! $523!” I look up at him, throw my hands in the air, and say “Hallelujah!” He looks at me funny and he says “Oh, I didn’t realize you got excited when someone else won at computer Solitaire. By the way, you owe $4,000 this year.”

I decided to try out some of that “tax preparation software” this year rather than going with my old way of doing taxes—being unemployed and not making any money to pay taxes on in the first place. But when I started up the program it started asking me all of these personal questions that made me feel uncomfortable. “What’s your Social Security Number?” “How much money do you make each year?” “How many children do you have?” Well, I know from Dateline NBC that I shouldn’t give out by Social Security Number to a computer. I wouldn’t even tell my wife how much money I made each year, assuming I had a wife, or that I made money each year. And if computers aren’t advanced enough to be able to scan the entire world for my DNA and tell me if I have any children I don’t know about, then I sure as hell don’t want a computer doing my taxes for me.

As you can see, you’ll get no competition from me in this contest.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Thanks For Making Blogathon 2006 A Big Success!

Author: Nick
Category: Money
Topics: ,

you helped raise a lot of these

And with this, my 49th post in the last 24 hours, the Punny Money Blogathon 2006 draws to a close. In addition to all the money that you’ve helped this site raise for First Book, the 200-some folks who made it through the blogathon accumulated a total of about $100,000 in pledges for their various charities!

I’d like to give a special thanks to fellow personal finance writer and blogathonner J.D. at Get Rich Slowly who also seems to have made it through the night in one piece. Thanks also to everyone in the blogathon AIM chat for keeping me awake with their constant beeps and bloops.

And as always, my biggest thanks go to my wife for supporting me during this lofty endeavor. If you’re reading this, a couple of waffles would really hit the spot right now. Pretty please? (And I wouldn’t mind a hug, either!)

Oh, and of course, thanks also to those who participated in the Really Hard Trivia Contest. Let’s see the final results:

Previous Really Hard Trivia Question:
What country was the first to use paper currency?

Correct Answer:
China. A few days after introducing paper money, China also became the first country to issue store credit for returns… just kidding!

The Final Standings:
Jessica 34 (+1)
Arthur 29
Amberlynn 16
ricemutt 14
Mack C 7
Jono 3
luna 2
Mike 2
Luka 1
Rickie Beth 1
Tasha 1

Congratulations to Jessica who will walk away with a $50 eGift Certificate to the store of her choosing as well as a $25 donation made by Punny Money in her name to First Book. Second place finisher and fellow blogathonner Arthur will receive a $25 eGift Certificate for his performance as well. I’ll be in touch to get those items to you two… just as soon as I recover from the blogathon.

Thanks for reading Punny Money and supporting Blogathon 2006. Go check out the other talented and sleepy writers and see what they’ve been talking about for the last 24 hours.

Be sure to visit Punny Money again soon for all your personal finance news, tips, and commentary with a bit of humor thrown in.

Really Hard Trivia Contest Question #24: Money

Author: Nick
Category: Money
Topics:

It all comes down to this! This question will close promptly at 9am Eastern Time, so be sure to get your guess in on time.

Previous Really Hard Trivia Question:
Click here to download a 6-second MP3 music file. What is the name of the song excerpted here and most recently made popular by a spectacular Christmas lights display.

Correct Answer:
Wizards in Winter. Here’s a video of the spectacular Christmas lights display.

The current standings:
Jessica 33 (+4)
Arthur 29
Amberlynn 16
ricemutt 14
Mack C 7
Jono 3
luna 2
Mike 2
Luka 1
Rickie Beth 1
Tasha 1

The rules in a nutshell:

  1. One question every hour for 24 hours.
  2. One (1) point to the first guess (correct or not). Three (3) points to the first correct guess. One (1) point to subsequent correct guesses before question closes.
  3. One guess per person per question, but you can guess once at every question!
  4. When next question is posted, previous one closes and score is tallied to that point.
  5. Score the most points to win!

In case you’re just joining us, here are the full rules of the contest. Remember, first place gets a $50 eGift Certificate and second place gets a $25 eGift Certificate.


Really Hard Trivia Question #24:
What country was the first to use paper currency?


Really Hard Trivia Contest Question #23: Music

Author: Nick
Category: Money
Topics:

Previous Really Hard Trivia Question:
The following code prints the phrase “Hello, world!” in what computer programming language?

?((pp "Hello, world!"))

Correct Answer:
Fril. It’s a fun little programming language… assuming your idea of fun is first-order predicate calculus.

The current standings:
Arthur 29
Jessica 29 (+1)
Amberlynn 16
ricemutt 14
Mack C 7 (+4)
Jono 3
luna 2
Mike 2
Luka 1
Rickie Beth 1
Tasha 1

The rules in a nutshell:

  1. One question every hour for 24 hours.
  2. One (1) point to the first guess (correct or not). Three (3) points to the first correct guess. One (1) point to subsequent correct guesses before question closes.
  3. One guess per person per question, but you can guess once at every question!
  4. When next question is posted, previous one closes and score is tallied to that point.
  5. Score the most points to win!

In case you’re just joining us, here are the full rules of the contest. Remember, first place gets a $50 eGift Certificate and second place gets a $25 eGift Certificate.


Really Hard Trivia Question #23:
Click here to download a 6-second MP3 music file. What is the name of the song excerpted here and most recently made popular by a spectacular Christmas lights display.


Really Hard Trivia Contest Question #22: Technology

Author: Nick
Category: Money
Topics:

Previous Really Hard Trivia Question:
Part of a close-up of what restaurant chain’s logo is pictured here?
what restaurant logo is this

Correct Answer:
Chipotle. Hmm, I think I have some of their burrito bol in the fridge still…
chipotle

The current standings:
Arthur 29
Jessica 28
Amberlynn 16
ricemutt 14
Jono 3
Mack C 3
luna 2
Mike 2
Luka 1
Rickie Beth 1
Tasha 1

The rules in a nutshell:

  1. One question every hour for 24 hours.
  2. One (1) point to the first guess (correct or not). Three (3) points to the first correct guess. One (1) point to subsequent correct guesses before question closes.
  3. One guess per person per question, but you can guess once at every question!
  4. When next question is posted, previous one closes and score is tallied to that point.
  5. Score the most points to win!

In case you’re just joining us, here are the full rules of the contest. Remember, first place gets a $50 eGift Certificate and second place gets a $25 eGift Certificate.


Really Hard Trivia Question #22:
The following code prints the phrase “Hello, world!” in what computer programming language?

?((pp "Hello, world!"))