Nine uninterrupted hours of sleep in a soft, comfy bed for the low price of zero dollars? I’d say that’s the best bargain you’ll find this Black Friday. As for the rest of you freaks who decided to risk pneumonia to stand in line at 2am in order to save 10% on electronics you don’t need and cashmere sweaters you’ll just rip a hole in anyway, here are some highlights from other personal finance writers to help bring the feeling back to your extremities.

1. CreditCards.com writes a heart-warming story about paying utility bills with credit cards. I was interviewed for this article where I revealed that I like to keep warm during the winter by layering myself in dozens of pairs of women’s underwear. Silky and toasty!
2. I’ve Paid For This Twice Already uses those leftover turkey remains to their full extent. Frugal and delicious! That said, using the bones to trick your kids into thinking you live on an ancient Native American burial ground is just mean. Unless you videotape it. Then it’s funny.
3. Do you need to make more money so you can waste it on Black Friday impulse buys? Of course you do, and The Digerati Life tells you how!

Only three articles this week since pretty much everyone else just wrote Happy Thanksgiving posts and linked to pictures of turkeys and cranberry sauce.

I just received an e-mail from a reader who misconstrued the title of this article to mean that I was offering sexual favors at a reduced rate. Not only is this wrong, but it is especially frightening since I haven’t even published this article yet. Go back to your Black Friday shopping, crazy stalker.

Until next week, this is Nick, returning to his turkey-induced slumber.