Stealing Restaurant Condiments: It’s Time To Settle An Age-Old Debate
Author: Nick
Category: Money
Topics: food, law
Everyone knows at least one person who does it. Maybe it’s your senile old grandmother who doesn’t think anything of it. Maybe it’s a co-worker who does it at lunch.
Maybe you do it yourself.
No no, I’m not talking about masturbating. (At least I hope I’m not.) I’m referring to the practice of concealed condiment collection—i.e. “stealing” ketchup and sugar packets and all those other little individually packaged seasonings you might find at a variety of restaurants.
This isn’t a new concept by any means. Historical documents dating back to the 1500s talk about routine executions being carried out on the streets of London when a person would try to hide a thimble of jam under their wig while departing the local tea house. Nowadays many people don’t even consider it a crime to stuff a few extra packets of jelly in one’s purse at the local IHOP. At the very least, plenty of folks agree that’s it a victimless crime. After all, you’re stealing tiny amounts of secondary ingredients from business owners and large multinational corporate minions, most of whom have swimming pools filled with unwanted condiment packets.
Of course, for every person who thinks absconding with restaurant condiments is on the up-and-up, there’s another who considers it outright theft. The latter group typically argues that condiments that are distributed for free by restaurants are meant to be used at the restaurant, similarly to how most all-you-can-eat buffets don’t allow you to remove food from the restaurant.
On the other hand, the average condiment collector will use a variety of reasons for justifying his or her habit:
- They’re practically worthless.
- I’m only taking a few.
- I’m not hurting anyone by doing it.
- If restaurants didn’t want people taking condiments, they shouldn’t make them available.
- It’s just freaking ketchup!
Personally, I’m somewhere in between the two arguments, but I can already tell you what the anti-collector’s response would be to some of these excuses for legitimizing covert condiment confiscation.
- They’re practically worthless or I’m only taking a few. Restaurant condiments aren’t as cheap as you think. Bulk ketchup, for example, runs around 3 cents a packet. Even if a giant chain negotiates that down to a penny each, it’s still 1% of the price of those Dollar Menu fries.
- I’m not hurting anyone by doing it. What if your boss told you that he or she was taking 1% of your pay and eating it? You’d be pretty upset! Each time one of these condiment packets is taken from a restaurant, that’s money out of the pockets of everyone. And since executives and managers set pay rates for lower employees, you can probably guess who’s going to be impacted the most.
- If restaurants didn’t want people taking condiments, they shouldn’t make them available. If that’s your argument, you should insist on paying for your condiments the next time you dine out. Or even better—bring your own!
- It’s just freaking ketchup! Sure, it starts with ketchup. Then it might escalate to bigger things like toilet paper rolls from the restaurant bathroom, or cars from the parking lot. I’m pretty sure I read a government document stating that most terrorists got their start stealing barbeque sauce from McDonald’s.
Another common argument you’ll hear from condiment collectors: it saves them money. Well, so does stealing groceries from the supermarket; but you’re not going to walk out of Wal-Mart with a 24-ounce bottle of mustard tucked under your coat, are you? If anything, you’d save a lot more money by not dining out in these restaurants in the first place.
But since both sides of the condiment coin have their points, I think the best way to settle this argument is with a compromise. Perhaps if condiment collectors agreed to reduce their activities to only certain items and in very limited quantities, the condiment crusaders wouldn’t mind it as much. As for what condiments are okay to collect and which ones aren’t, I would propose the following lists as guidance:
Condiments That Might Be Okay to “Collect”
- Condiments you can’t recreate at home or buy in the store (e.g. Taco Bell’s sauce).
- A reasonable number of necessary condiments when you’re doing take-out (e.g. not 42 packets of honey when you only bought a hamburger).
- Duck and soy sauce. I’m pretty sure both flow abundantly through the rivers of Asia.
- One bonus condiment of your choice each time the employees are jerks or idiots.
Condiments You Shouldn’t Be Stealing From Restaurants
- Standard condiments like ketchup and mustard. Just go buy your own at the store.
- Pricier but still standard condiments like barbeque sauce and salad dressing.
- Napkins. That’s just being a tightwad.
- Salt and pepper shakers. Generally you don’t want to take condiments that are in reusable containers.
- Table centerpieces. Yes, I’m sure there’s someone out there who yanks flowers from restaurant tables.
- Silverware. Not even plastic sporks unless you’re doing take-out.
- The Heinz truck that just pulled up to the back of the restaurant. Yeah, that’s hijacking.
If we all work together to keep restaurant condiment costs low, we can help ensure that future generations will have access to marvels such as Wendy’s 99 Cent Super Value Menu. But if rampant condiment theft continues unchecked, we’ll become reliant on foreign sources of ketchup which will cause prices to skyrocket, and soon you’ll be wishing you could dip your fries in crude oil instead.
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31 Responses »
1.
Obbop
September 15th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Joe had it down to an art.
Out in California one of the fast-food joints was doing the buffet thing on the side. Later 1980s. Was it Wendys? Maybe Taco Bell… Can’t remember but it was one of the major chains.
Here’s how he did it.
Order the buffet and ask for the to-go container. A plastic plate with a clear plastic lid around 4 inches tall. Oh, large cup for water at no extra charge.
Eat there, all you can eat. When full, invert the plastic lid and go to the buffet and filll it to the brim and use the plate portion as the lid.
The water in the large cup was then emptied in the plant container decorating the interior and fill it with the puding from the desert section.
Then leave.
Some Chinese folks owned the please and “Mama-san” was constantly watching the crowd, doing no work, just staring, wordless.
Her stare was constantly upon Joe, who made a weekly visit to the place. He considered it a heck of a bargain. He told of how the amount in the inverted lid allowed for four separate meals at home, typically two lunches and two suppers.
I went once but the stares of Mama-san precluded my accompanying Joe again to that place.
Joe wasn’t bothered in the least by the stare/glare of Mama-san. He figured if it bothered them that much they wouldn’t take his money.
That buffet thing was a short-lived experiment, I believe since the only thing similar I see now is some KFCs with a small buffet arrangement.
Haven’t seen Joe in years having moved away from that area 15 years ago but, as is likely, that outlet stopped the buffet thing, he is assuredly heart-broken.
2.
Frugalchick
September 15th, 2008 at 11:15 pm
I think one of the reasons Subway is more profitable than Quiznos is their tight control on their paper goods. They placed your wrapped sandwich in a plastic bag with one napkin. One! If you need more, you’ll have to ask. Quiznos, on the other hand, has napkins in napkin holders all over the place.
Anyway, you’re right. Not wasting/stealing condiments from restaurants will help keep their food costs down and stay in operation. It’s sad that a lot of mom n pop restaurants in my area are closing down. We don’t go out as much but I’ll definitely keep in mind that in those rare occasions that we do go eat out, I’ll try not to waste the condiments or napkins.
3.
M M
September 16th, 2008 at 7:28 am
*hangs head in shame* I steal Splenda from the gas station – when I fill up, I get a cup of their coffee (my only purchased coffee everyweek) and I grab some splenda. Maybe 2 or 3 – for when I want sweet coffee (which is relatively rare). I just can’t imagine buying it/keeping it around for the few times a month I want it. So (major gas company with convenience stores attached) won’t really miss those couple dozen or so yellow packets across the year will they? And I am buying the coffee, I just don’t want the splenda in it that minute. but maybe I will tomorrow. And when I’m in there and the construction crews pull in, each guy uses like 20 of those little creamer portions and another dozen sugars per coffee! (ok, rationalizing here). Note, I did say stealing above, so deep down, that must be how I feel about it!
4.
Kyle
September 16th, 2008 at 10:00 am
I am firmly against condiment theft. Just because it’s a TINY theft doesn’t mean it’s okay. The boss taking 1% of your pay analogy is right on. There is no such thing as a victimless crime.
5.
A1 Medical Supplies
September 16th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
You are right about the cost of condiments and how this can add up to big bucks. When I used to work at a hotel, guest were always absconding with the flavored creamers. People would fill up cups, bags, their pockets, and pretty much anything else that could be used to make off with their ill gotten booty.
Those things were pretty pricey and we would go through several cases every week. What made it worse is that often you would find a stockpile of un-opened creamers in the guests rooms after they checked-out, which in turn had to be thrown out.
6.
Stephanie PTY
September 16th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
I can totally back up the napkin thing. From the time I was 12 until the time I was 19, my parents owned and operated a hot dog cart. Nothing pissed us off more than when someone would grab a fistful of napkins – especially after they had seen me filling the container! It wasn’t just the cost that bothered us, it was the fact that I had to keep checking on and refilling the napkin container when I could have been doing other things. Like, oh, I don’t know, cooking your food?
Take your food, and two damn napkins, and quit stealing from me, ya bunch of whiners! *Shakes “bad customer beating stick”*
100% serious: I’d rather you stole a whole burger than napkins. At least you stealing a burger doesn’t require any effort on my part to fix. If you steal napkins, I gotta refill the damn container.
7.
Mrs. Micah
September 16th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
It seems completely useless to me. Stealing them, that is. Do people actually use them? My family managed to accumulate a number that came with our takeout from several fast food joints. We never actually used them. We periodically threw them out.
8.
TigerTom
September 16th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Taking stuff like that is just wrong. It’s mean-spirited. Just don’t do it. Then you won’t have to wrestle with your conscience.
And as another poster has said, you likely won’t even use them. On an extreme level, some shoplifters have rooms full of merchandise when they get caught.
9.
Tercüme
September 17th, 2008 at 10:21 am
I think one of the reasons Subway is more profitable than Quiznos is their tight control on their paper goods. They placed your wrapped sandwich in a plastic bag with one napkin. One! If you need more, you’ll have to ask. Quiznos, on the other hand, has napkins in napkin holders all over the place…
10.
Jeff
September 17th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
I always get tons of ketchup in the bottom of my fast food bags – without asking for it. So really, I have no incentive to take more than I need when I actually dine in. A very proactive article though …
11.
Bill
September 18th, 2008 at 11:12 am
I think condiment theft is important. The reason being that the entire meal (for example Burger king) will cost you around $6 rounded. The actual cost of that meal to the company is roughly $1.25 with the actual cost of service as well around $2. So the mark-up is roughly $2.75. I figure that in order to get my money’s worth it is important to take the full amount. $2.75 worth of Ketchup packets is quite a bit of ketchup. That is like stealing mints when you leave a restaurant. You know you are only supposed to take one, but who will notice if you take ten more.
12.
Free Ps3
September 18th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Why do people say that you are stealing the condiments? If you ask the waiter or whatever for some sugar or ketchup the give it you for free! Because it is free, sure it doesnt say how much is free or that you cannot use the condiments outside the resturant or whatever. But thats not our problem. I love freebies!
13.
Brad
September 18th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
I have to admit, I am a duck sauce hoarder. It’s just so good!
14.
joey
September 18th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
what about soap and shampoo from hotels?
15.
Jagad Guru
September 18th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
What I don’t understand is those people who keep taking the condiments even though they still have a whole pile of them that they haven’t used (that they’ve collected over the past 5 years), sitting at home…I’ve actually met quite a few people who do that.
16.
JT Money
September 25th, 2008 at 8:56 am
I think this is a great idea. You don’t have to stick up a restaurant in order to take what you want. I love Mcdonalds because I can always count on getting some napkins for my car or something. I don’t think I have ever taken condiments.
It is a good idea for them to keep their BBQ packets behind the counter. I would take those for sure. Their addicting and scrumptious. Another condiment that I would take are the BK Ring sauce for their onion rings. They are addicting!
17.
Katie
September 30th, 2008 at 11:56 am
I load up on Splenda.
** Hangs head in shame **
I do it ethically. Well, as ethically as possible in a gray area like this. I only take it from big chains like Starbucks. I rarely go there, but when I do, I justify the overpriced coffee by taking $1 (retail) worth of Splenda. That’s about 20 packets. I do it because it costs twice as much as Sweet ‘n’ Low (which I buy) because it’s the newest technology in fake sugar.
I figure that the $100-200 I give to charity every month (I offer my services at half-price once a week for donation) more than balances things out.
18.
Peter
October 4th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
I think that is why there are a lot of restaurants (even fast food like McD) that decided to put condiments behind the counter. When you ask them for it, they would ask you specifically how many do you need.
Another point to consider is how wasteful people are. Usually fast food places give out a lot but a large portion of the people simply throw them away.
19.
jenn
October 5th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
The McDonald’s around me in SC have started putting everything in pumps in the lobby. No more packets. Even the nugget sauces are in pumps. To steal it, you would have to pump it directly into your pockets.
20.
Virginia
October 13th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Some places in Europe charge per ketchup packet. Brilliant! I always think how wasteful it is when I ask for two ketchup packets and they give me a handful. How hard is it to count to two?
How you feel about the ethics of condiments is probably closely related to how you feel about taking office supplies from the workplace. Would you go to your favorite relatives’ house and take post-its and pencils?
21.
Sacramento Healthcare School
October 15th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
I worked at a restaurant in college, and you’d be surprised how many people stole condiments. Now, as a medical assistant, I realize how unclean it is. You shouldn’t want to take items home that hundreds of other people have touched. It’s unsanitary and tacky.
22.
Air Jordans
December 4th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
When we order Chinese they send soy sauce (fine) orange dipping sauce (fine) but that disgusting hot mustard is such a waste even my garbage can cringes when forced to ingest the packets.
23.
Jonathan@Friends&Money
March 14th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Got to be honest i rarely use condiments when I eat out as I like to taste my food as it is rather than smearing it with various condiments. Also I don’t take sugar so the temptation is less for me. In addition i rarely eat out as I love cooking and make many meals from scratch
24.
wholesale wrinkle cream
May 20th, 2009 at 7:31 am
I think this is a great idea. You don’t have to stick up a restaurant in order to take what you want. I love Mcdonalds because I can always count on getting some napkins for my car or something. I don’t think I have ever taken condiments.
It is a good idea for them to keep their BBQ packets behind the counter. I would take those for sure. Their addicting and scrumptious. Another condiment that I would take are the BK Ring sauce for their onion rings. They are addicting!
25.
erica
May 26th, 2009 at 11:59 pm
Do you guys have any idea how much these chains gross per year? I don’t think their stressed over 20 splenda packets, five packets of sugar and so on. I think the only people that have a problem with it are nosy people with nothing else better to do than nag, and the lazy ass uneducated people that work the counter. Sometimes I just want to say get out from behind there and let me do it. Infact I think they should give me but loads of condiments just for putting up with their employees crap.
26.
fabs
June 11th, 2009 at 6:09 am
Cutee ..
27.
Anonymous
June 12th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
I “collect” condiments. If the place gives me 8 ketchups at the drive-thru, obviously I won’t eat that many, so I keep the rest for when I go camping. I don’t think that is stealing or wrong. Am I supposed to drive back to the store so I can return the unused ketchup packets? Keep dreaming!!!
Speaking of wrong, how about places that no longer give you ketchup, even when you ask? (McDonald’s, Dairy Queen…) How is that right? It’s common sense-if you order fries, most people also want ketchup!
28.
Small Business Loans
July 17th, 2009 at 11:06 am
what about hotel condiments
like a soap, shampoo
like a joke, i remember taking it, but why–
have no idea
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