Self Checkout Lanes: Utterly Useless, But There’s Still Hope
Author: Nick
Category: Money
Topics: business, technology

More and more supermarkets these days are installing those technological marvels known as self checkout lanes. Stores love self checkouts because they get to replace staff attendants with cold, unfeeling computer systems. Shoppers like the idea of them because it offers a way to bypass long cashier-operated checkouts lanes. I like the idea because hot computer women voices turn me on. (“Please place your… apples… on the belt.” Aww yee-ah. Giggity.)
In reality, the implementation of self checkout lanes has been a horrendous failure on par with other technological disasters like Chernobyl or the Sony PlayStation 3. The reasons for the abysmal downfall of self checkout lanes can be seen by walking into any store sporting them:
- Always too few or too many. I have yet to see a single supermarket or chain store with the right number of self checkouts. Quite often they are placed in stores with plenty of cashiers, sempiternal short lines, or merchandise that doesn’t lend itself to self checking out. More frequently, they’re simply converted from existing cashier-manned checkout lanes in stores with perpetually long customer queues, a terrible idea because…
- Most people take longer in self checkouts to complete their transactions than in cashier-operated lanes. It’s true. I’ve timed it while waiting in long supermarket lines, and you can make the same observations for yourself. But why are self checker outers slower? The rest of the reasons explain why, starting with…
- Customer technical incompetence. I’m sure I could find a nicer label to assign to the idiots who think they know what they’re doing in a self checkout lane. All too often, Grandma No-Computer pulls her cart into a self checkout lane and brings it to a screeching halt as she tries to figure out what to do with her bag of oranges. Even computer-minded folks often fumble around in self checkouts, but more often that’s due to…
- Grossly poor self checkout designs. Cashier-manned checkout lanes have an efficient order to them: you place your items on a conveyor belt while waiting in line, the cashier scans and bags them and places them in your cart, you pay, and you get out of the way. Most self checkouts have no conveyor belt leading up to the scanner, so you have to remove each item from your cart as you’re checking out. Then you must either bag each item individually or place them on a conveyor belt to be bagged later (almost always by you). And I can almost guarantee that you do not bag as well or as quickly as an experienced cashier. And heaven forbid you have coupons or are paying with cash because it often takes a self checkout newbie ten minutes to find the slot for those. And while you’re designing the world’s worst computer system, you might as well make sure that…
- Things break way too easily. There’s usually a “call a staff member” button on the computer screen in case you need assistance during your self checkout transaction. I’m pretty sure this button gets pushed every other transaction at my local supermarket. Whether it’s an incorrect price, accidentally double-scanned item, or some other abnormality in the checkout process, you’ll have to wait anywhere from 10 seconds to many minutes for help to arrive. On a couple of occasions, I’ve accepted an incorrectly scanned price and forfeited 10-50 cents because I knew it would take 5 minutes for someone to come and fix the price. I’m sure I’m not the only one, and I bet stores know it and love it.
From all this, you might think the best course of action on the self checkout front would be to completely remove them from the face of the Earth, and you’d be right. Alas, despite all the reasons you now have to hate them, stores have no reason not to love self checkout lanes. Instead, the whole idea of self checkout should be redesigned from scratch.
Building a Better Self Checkout
With a little bit of technology and a lot of process changes, self checkouts could be brought up to the same level of efficiency as human-operated checkout lanes. Let’s take a look at how an ideal self checkout system should be run.
- Eligibility requirements. Right now, the number one reason that self checkouts don’t work is because of that genius in front of you trying to find the barcode to scan on the banana. I don’t know what it is, but self checkouts seem to draw large numbers of people who don’t know how to use them. Establishing some sort of barrier to entry–DMV-style qualification tests, proof of computer ownership, knowledge that bananas don’t have barcodes–would keep the dummies in the full service checkouts where they belong and move things along quicker for you.
- Frequent user lines. The more you use a self checkout system, the better you’ll get at it. Once you’ve self checkout’d 20 times, you get promoted to the league of Self Checkout Masters who get to use the exclusive Masters-only self checkout lane. Use that lane 50 times and they’ll tell you what the supermarket ground beef is really made out of.
- Improved technology. Self checkouts are meant to replicate every aspect of a regular checkout experience including conveyor belts, scanners, and bagging. The only thing missing is the cashier; in its place is you. Unfortunately replacing somebody who does grocery checkout for a living with someone who’d rather be doing anything else is going to slow down the whole process. Technology to the rescue! Replace those manual scanners and fumbling for barcodes with automated systems that scan your items as they move down the conveyor. Once scanned, an army of robots bags your purchases and loads them into your cart.
- Take the line out of checking out. If you’re lucky enough to have a Bloom supermarket near you, then you may have already tried out their personal scanners, small gun-like devices that you carry with you around the store. You scan and bag each item as you shop, leaving only a quick trip to the checkout kiosk once you have all of your items. Without the line, self checkouts only take as long as you take to shop.
- No cash accepted at self checkouts. Credit-only self checkouts would keep away the grannies and make the dropped penny delays a thing of the past.
Until some of these changes become reality, you’re best off going through the cashier-operated lanes. Or better yet, skip the stores and order your groceries online for home delivery. Trust me, it’s worth the extra few bucks for the delivery fee.

74 Responses
1.
Clever Dude
July 2nd, 2007 at 9:56 am
I definitely like the idea of graduating to more advanced checkout lines. Also, I’m sure someone will mention RFID chips on all the products will definitely speed things up (for your auto-scanning idea).
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Nick
July 2nd, 2007 at 1:51 pm
It’s only a matter of time before you peel open a banana and an RFID microchip tag falls out.
“Bananas: now with 50,000% of your daily allowance of silicon.”
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This Little Piggy
July 2nd, 2007 at 7:10 pm
I shop at a union store so I’ll never use a self check out as I am a member of a union.
4.
Summer
July 2nd, 2007 at 8:53 pm
I refuse to use the self check out line. The grocery store does not pay me to do their work. Until they make it worth my financial while, I will not use them.
5.
Lord
July 3rd, 2007 at 2:19 pm
Why is it that I always find the item not in the computer? Perhaps the checkout should just mark them as free.
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LennyP
July 3rd, 2007 at 5:52 pm
I also refuse to use these for the reasons you stated plus, as other commentors have stated, I am not being paid to be a cashier or a bagger. What I find annoying as all is that several supermarkets have stopped staffing the express lines since installing these. So now I have to stand behind a person buying what appears to be the next years of groceries at 3 in the morning while I wait to pay for my loaf of bread.
7.
mapgirl
July 8th, 2007 at 10:25 pm
I love the self checkout when I’m buying lots of frozen dinners, but it depends on the time of day too. During the after work rush, it’s stupid to be in that line. But if you’re shopping at 8pm, it works out pretty well. I find it only OK. I do like that people often leave their coupons so I can take them instead!
8.
Brad
July 9th, 2007 at 12:35 pm
I’ll use the self checkout whenever it’s available. If there’s no line at a real cashier, fine. But there always is! I find self-checkout to be faster some 90% of the time, especially if it’s an “express” checkout, allowing 15 items or less. Why wait behind people with full carts when you can scan 4 items yourself and get the hell out of there? I don’t mind doing things myself when it’s faster and more convenient for me to do so.
9.
tiffany
July 15th, 2007 at 11:40 am
i wholly concur with brad! i used to have the “if i wanted to work at the grocery store, i’d pick up and application” mentality, but i’ve done away with it now. i like that i can pack my bags the way i like. at many grocers, the baggers are too overly cautious and will use 9 bags, plastic and paper, for 20 items. it’s too much. the only thing is that the self checkout lanes do not let me use my market bag or paper bags i’ve brought from home. i guess because everything is regulated by weight, it will keep screaming at me “unidentified object! unidentified object!”
i have to disagree about not accepting cash at self check outs. i like to physically see the money i use. i don’t carry my debit card around (too much temptation) and credit cards are for die hard emergencies. so if it’s a last resort emergency situation, chances are i am not going to be able to pay the balance off in full. i refuse to pay interest on peaches and spinach and ramen noodles.
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February 12th, 2010 at 1:59 pm
I’m stubborn when it comes to checkout lines. I don’t care if there are 5 empty self-checkouts available – I will stand in line to have a REAL LIVE PERSON scan my groceries. Is it because I’m lazy? Certainly not – otherwise, why would I waste time waiting in a line when I could speed through there? It’s because I don’t want to be responsible for taking away jobs from people who need them, and I also don’t want to be responsible for encouraging this era of having computers and machinery doing everything for us.
I know I sound like a paranoid elderly lady, but I’m actually 24 years old. My father remembers a time when high school kids were hired to carry groceries out to your car. He remembers a time where businesses were more personal and friendly. It saddens me that we’re stuck in an era of “HURRY HURRY” and “TO GET THIS JOB YOU HAVE TO BE A MULTITASKER.” Want to know why stress is such an epidemic? Take a look at employment. Most workers are doing the job of 3 people!
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