Search and Ye Shall Receive: Retirement Notice, Pregnant Buffets, and Uh…
Author: Nick
Category: Money
Topics: entertainment, food, retirement, search
It’s time for another episode of everyone’s favorite long-running Punny Money feature: the Personal Finance Swimsuit Competition. For the eighth year in a row, Nick wins by a mile! Now on to Search and Ye Shall Receive and even more answers to questions people have asked search engines that brought them to Punny Money.
How Much Notice Should I Give Before Retiring?

How much notice to give before retirement? (via Google)
Unlike your standard job quitting notice, people tend to give more than two weeks warning if they’re retiring. That’s because people in a position to retire are probably doing so from a higher-ranking job with more responsibilities than your typical career stepping-stone job. The CEO of a Fortune 500 company may let its employees and investors know of her impending retirement six months or more in advance. A middle manager may be able to get away with a couple months of notice.
But if you’ve somehow amassed a retirement nest egg working 45 years as a McDonald’s drive-thru cashier, you can probably give the standard two weeks notice so they can outsource your job to an Indian call center.
It may also be traditional at your place of employment to give more warning than is necessary before your retirement, so ask some of the old folks down the hall how they plan to do it.
Buffet + Pregnancy = Giant Mutant Baby?

Are buffets bad when you’re pregnant? (via AOL)
Buffets are bad when you’re not pregnant! Anytime you stuff yourself with more food than you need for nutritional upkeep, you increase your risk of horrendous diseases like diabetes and gonorrhea. Okay, so maybe it’s not that bad, but balancing your buffet trips with diet and exercise in between can help you lead a long and healthy life.
It might seem like carrying a baby gives a woman the perfect excuse to make extra passes through the buffet line. After all, they’re eating for two. Just keep in mind that unborn babies are not garbage disposals, so you can’t just dump any old food into your body when you’re at the buffet.
So before you and your bun-in-the-oven sit down for ten rounds at the Olive Garden’s Never-Ending Pasta Bowl, consult with a physician to determine which alfredo sauce your baby will like the best.
Uh…

Do you lose nutrients when you masterbate? (via Google)
Possibly. Just to be safe, eat a sandwich afterwards. Or go to a buffet.

47 Responses »
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Mrs. Micah
October 15th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
Thanks for the smile. I really dislike buffets because I make one medium-sized pass (or two little ones) and then everybody’s still eating. After all, I didn’t sign up for a tummy ache.
P.S. Swimsuit tag link didn’t work.
2.
Nick
October 15th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
P.S. Swimsuit tag link didn’t work.
On purpose!
If you truly, honestly want to see me in a swimsuit, I suppose I can arrange it. Will a Speedo do?
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July 13th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
When a woman is pregnant, it is the most important time she should take care of her diet. Well balanced diets at every instance are essential for any pregnant woman so that the growing baby receives the needed nutrients, vitamins and minerals for its growth. However, certain food needs to be avoided as they tend to pose risk not only to the woman who is carrying the baby, but also the baby and its growth.
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July 13th, 2009 at 11:36 pm
Even if you have been eating a healthy diet prior to your pregnancy, you have to pay extra attention to what you eat when you are pregnant. A healthy diet is vital to a successful pregnancy because it ensures correct fetal growth and reduces complications.
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Gen
May 10th, 2010 at 6:09 am
Seems to me that many things are claimed to be a problem when pregnant. On my first pregnancy I was so paranoid I followed all the advice and much of it was contradictory. On my second pregnancy I followed my own common sense (eat peanuts, drank coffee all in moderation) – and guess what! Both babies turned out just fine.
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May 15th, 2010 at 8:36 am
unfortunately the “horrendous diseases like diabetes” as you called it is rapidly growing in US, especially the type2 diabetes
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May 21st, 2010 at 1:37 am
I agree that buffets are bad for pregnant women.I also heard this story of Elizabeth Delgado who could not get pregnant. She and her husband Igancio were trying to get pregnant and they finally did. You can see her story here:
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In the time of pregnancy,we must take proper supplement.
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Gabby
June 22nd, 2010 at 5:09 am
So it makes since to me now, but nobody ever told me not to go to buffets while pregnant. I went to Golden Corral after church with my family last Sunday, and I got food poisoning. My son had a very mild case, but mine was 24 hours of gut wrenching pain and agony and I had to go to the doctor. That’s when she tells me to stay out of buffets, there are too many ppl putting their hands on the food and coughing around it, and there are alot of employees also running around and changing the food out. Pregnant women will also get the worst symptoms because their immune systems are down, so it will hit them harder than the rest of the family. Plus it’s nearly impossible to narrow down what it was that was contaminated!
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October 28th, 2010 at 3:02 pm
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