Search and Ye Shall Receive: Audit Freedom, Paperless Statements, and College Superstars
Author: Nick
Category: Money
Topics: banking, education, internet, search, taxes
You search for it, you get it here at Punny Money with our not-too-frequent feature Search and Ye Shall Receive. Today we look at three search engine queries that brought some people seeking financial enlightenment to this humble quadrant of the internet.
Since the IRS Gave Me a Refund, Will They Not Come After Me For Deducting My Hair Extensions?
If you get your tax refund, will you not be audited? (via Google)
Oh if only it were that easy. No, my friend, when you get that delicious little refund check in your hands, your IRS worries are only just beginning. Uncle Sam has three years from the day your tax return is filed (or the April 15th deadline, whichever is later) to audit your return. If it establishes that you owe money, it has up to ten years to come after you for it. And if it determines that you filed a fraudulent return (i.e. you claimed your weekly visits to the local brothel as a “medical expense”), there’s absolutely no statute of limitations.
So always live in a state of paranoia because you will get audited and chipmunks are waiting to steal your car keys when you go to work tomorrow.
What Benefit Is There to Not Having My Account Information Sent By Pieces of Paper Anyone Can Steal?
What are the benefits of paperless statements? (via Google)
Well, I kinda gave away one of the answers to this question in the snarky headline; getting your bank and credit card account statements sent to you online is about 83 thousand times safer than having them molested by half the U.S. Postal Service before being deposited in a mailbox that’s about as easy to break into as a papier-mache ATM machine. But there are other benefits than just security to keeping stacks and stacks of statements from hitting your home:
- It takes up less room in your trash can.
- It saves you time spent weeding out junk mail from important account information.
- It’s easier to store electronic statements for years than shoe boxes full of papers.
I Can Has College?
Can I go to college? (via Yahoo!)
Without knowing anything else about your situation, and basing my answer solely off your question, I would say no.
Oddly enough, someone else searched for the phrase “I can go to college” shortly after this query was received. To this person, I say congratulations and I look forward to having my Big Macs served by you in the future.
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12 Responses »
1.
Denver Refinance
April 30th, 2008 at 8:46 am
I have been audited a few times, and the frustrating part is that they don’t tell you why you are being audited or even how they got the information. You just get a letter demanding payment. Recently, I got audited and had to cough up $10k, then the IRS alerts your local state, so I got a bill from them for $3k. I will say, however, that I got another letter requesting a similar amount, and my accountant was able to explain that one to the IRS’ satisfaction, and they dropped the audit.
2.
Kyle
April 30th, 2008 at 10:06 am
Denver Refinance, so do they just demand payment and leave it at that or do they make you produce all your documentation even if you agree to pay it?
3.
Maria
April 30th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
You crack me up. The cartoon is funny and your Google queries made me laugh. I think I read on Copyblogger once that the class clowns make better bloggers than the valedictorians … maybe you prove the point? I always come by for a visit when my Google Reader shows a new post by you. I never thought finances and humor could be mixed so well.
4.
Nick
April 30th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Maria, oddly enough, I was valedictorian.
A bit of a class clown too.
5.
Mrs. Micah
April 30th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
I was valedictorian in my class of one. I guess that makes me the class clown too, but there wasn’t much competition. (Actually it was a class of two, but the non-valedictorian refused to walk. Humorous all around.)
6.
rocketc
May 1st, 2008 at 10:55 am
What good are salutatorians like me?
Wait, don’t answer that.
7.
Audio Mastering
February 25th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
how the hell that college question comes up in your search??
8.
Explain refinancing a mortgage
April 18th, 2009 at 9:49 am
I was valedictorian in my class of one. I guess that makes me the class clown too, but there wasn’t much competition. (Actually it was a class of two, but the non-valedictorian refused to walk. Humorous all around.)
9.
shoes
May 22nd, 2010 at 4:42 am
shoes
10.
shoes
May 22nd, 2010 at 4:44 am
fashion
11.
MissSapphire
July 12th, 2010 at 6:50 am
I will speak now like an 80 years old grandma but I think educational programs were better a few years ago… I miss that time.
12.
Rosetta Stone French
August 25th, 2010 at 12:10 am
Interesting perspective. You always hear about the high cost of treating obese workers but no one ever mentions they might be saving you in the long run.
Rosetta Stone French
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