Comments on: Save Your Failing Restaurant in an Eat-at-Home Economy http://www.punny.org/money/save-your-failing-restaurant-in-an-eat-at-home-economy/ Adding a punchline to your bottom line Tue, 07 Oct 2008 05:39:37 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: Obbop http://www.punny.org/money/save-your-failing-restaurant-in-an-eat-at-home-economy/#comment-175733 Obbop Wed, 23 Apr 2008 00:25:31 +0000 http://www.punny.org/?p=568#comment-175733 Who has the discretionary income? Who are the po' folk least likely to eat outside the home. Nowadays, younger folks with young kids are the poorest group. It's been that way for quite awhile. Quantifying the demographic sub-groups even further... the biggest group of poor folks are the kidlings themselves!!!! So... don't appeal to youngsters, McDonalds has done that for years. Don't appeal to young parents. Look at oldsters. Retirees. Look at earlier hours since the old geezers go to sleep early. Ensure your restrooms are old-people friendly with hand rails to ease their descent upon the throne. Comfy chairs. LARGE print upon the menu. Not too many choices so those old decrepit braines don't have to think too much. Old folks fill up quicker. Smaller portions or encourage doggy bags..... make the old farts believe they are getting more for their money by getting two meals out of one. Emphasize senior pricing. Over 55? What? 10 percent off? 15 percent? Seniors love bargains. Offer them an itty bitty free appetizer while they wait for their ordered meal. If you have background music aim it at the older crowd. Also, remember the cut-off date... after a certain age more old geezers are in the waiting-to-croak old-folks home than are roaming the city looking for grub. Observe old folks, talk to them, ask what they want in a restaurant. Then, if practical.... do it. Oh, one more thing. For many old farts the most precious thing in their miserable lives is their grandkids and/or great grandkids. Ensure you have offerings that would appeal to those spoiled disgusting mini-humans. Just the basic crap for those kids. And, refrain from smacking the little heathens with a mop or skillet as they behave horribly, out of control, as the grandparents look upon their precious little snowflakes who are assuredly damned to an eternity of Heck as they grow into even more disgusting putrid out-of-control adults. Remember, the goal is the old fart's money. And our economic system requires you cast aside all morality and personal honor to obtain that money. It's the American way. Who has the discretionary income? Who are the po’ folk least likely to eat outside the home.

Nowadays, younger folks with young kids are the poorest group. It’s been that way for quite awhile.

Quantifying the demographic sub-groups even further… the biggest group of poor folks are the kidlings themselves!!!!

So… don’t appeal to youngsters, McDonalds has done that for years.

Don’t appeal to young parents.

Look at oldsters.

Retirees.

Look at earlier hours since the old geezers go to sleep early.

Ensure your restrooms are old-people friendly with hand rails to ease their descent upon the throne.

Comfy chairs.

LARGE print upon the menu.

Not too many choices so those old decrepit braines don’t have to think too much.

Old folks fill up quicker. Smaller portions or encourage doggy bags….. make the old farts believe they are getting more for their money by getting two meals out of one.

Emphasize senior pricing. Over 55? What? 10 percent off? 15 percent?

Seniors love bargains. Offer them an itty bitty free appetizer while they wait for their ordered meal.

If you have background music aim it at the older crowd.

Also, remember the cut-off date… after a certain age more old geezers are in the waiting-to-croak old-folks home than are roaming the city looking for grub.

Observe old folks, talk to them, ask what they want in a restaurant. Then, if practical…. do it.

Oh, one more thing. For many old farts the most precious thing in their miserable lives is their grandkids and/or great grandkids.

Ensure you have offerings that would appeal to those spoiled disgusting mini-humans. Just the basic crap for those kids. And, refrain from smacking the little heathens with a mop or skillet as they behave horribly, out of control, as the grandparents look upon their precious little snowflakes who are assuredly damned to an eternity of Heck as they grow into even more disgusting putrid out-of-control adults.

Remember, the goal is the old fart’s money. And our economic system requires you cast aside all morality and personal honor to obtain that money.

It’s the American way.

]]> By: Denver Mortgage Broker http://www.punny.org/money/save-your-failing-restaurant-in-an-eat-at-home-economy/#comment-174956 Denver Mortgage Broker Sat, 19 Apr 2008 20:12:05 +0000 http://www.punny.org/?p=568#comment-174956 Some people say 2/3 of our economy is consumer expenditure driven. If people stop eating out, combined with everything else that's happening, it could get really ugly -- long recession. Some people say 2/3 of our economy is consumer expenditure driven. If people stop eating out, combined with everything else that’s happening, it could get really ugly — long recession.

]]> By: Maria @ Financial-Tip http://www.punny.org/money/save-your-failing-restaurant-in-an-eat-at-home-economy/#comment-174919 Maria @ Financial-Tip Sat, 19 Apr 2008 17:00:26 +0000 http://www.punny.org/?p=568#comment-174919 A problem with implementing #9 is the chance of getting sued my male waiters and the older waitresses who are fired/ not hired because you want to have sexy servers. Not to mention ... it's just not a good policy. If my manager had asked me to wear tight pants or a lower-cut shirt to attract more business, I would have told him to forget it. A problem with implementing #9 is the chance of getting sued my male waiters and the older waitresses who are fired/ not hired because you want to have sexy servers. Not to mention … it’s just not a good policy. If my manager had asked me to wear tight pants or a lower-cut shirt to attract more business, I would have told him to forget it.

]]> By: Chadwyck http://www.punny.org/money/save-your-failing-restaurant-in-an-eat-at-home-economy/#comment-174707 Chadwyck Fri, 18 Apr 2008 20:24:17 +0000 http://www.punny.org/?p=568#comment-174707 The website is a big deal for me. It is so difficult to find specific information about a restaurant... reservation policies, hours, menu/prices, alcohol selections, busy times, events, etc... I could call and harass the poor hostess with a battery of questions, but it's better for both of us if I can find the info online. The website is a big deal for me. It is so difficult to find specific information about a restaurant… reservation policies, hours, menu/prices, alcohol selections, busy times, events, etc… I could call and harass the poor hostess with a battery of questions, but it’s better for both of us if I can find the info online.

]]> By: s. jennifer rose http://www.punny.org/money/save-your-failing-restaurant-in-an-eat-at-home-economy/#comment-174520 s. jennifer rose Fri, 18 Apr 2008 05:07:54 +0000 http://www.punny.org/?p=568#comment-174520 http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/04/17/MNO4107CO5.DTL&tsp=1 I told you we'd have $4 gas by memorial day weekend! http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/04/17/MNO4107CO5.DTL&tsp=1

I told you we’d have $4 gas by memorial day weekend!

]]> By: Frugal Dad http://www.punny.org/money/save-your-failing-restaurant-in-an-eat-at-home-economy/#comment-174447 Frugal Dad Thu, 17 Apr 2008 23:19:46 +0000 http://www.punny.org/?p=568#comment-174447 I've got a friend that recently reopened a restaurant in this environment and I'll definitely share the strip pole idea. At this point he may be desperate enough to actually do it! I’ve got a friend that recently reopened a restaurant in this environment and I’ll definitely share the strip pole idea. At this point he may be desperate enough to actually do it!

]]> By: Grant http://www.punny.org/money/save-your-failing-restaurant-in-an-eat-at-home-economy/#comment-174375 Grant Thu, 17 Apr 2008 17:25:55 +0000 http://www.punny.org/?p=568#comment-174375 During the last recession I was working as a restaurant manager putting myself through college. It was definitely tough times. The hardest part was the fact that we couldn't give nearly as many hours to our employees as we did before the recession, which was tough because you know it hurt them not getting the hours During the last recession I was working as a restaurant manager putting myself through college. It was definitely tough times. The hardest part was the fact that we couldn’t give nearly as many hours to our employees as we did before the recession, which was tough because you know it hurt them not getting the hours

]]> By: teleolurian http://www.punny.org/money/save-your-failing-restaurant-in-an-eat-at-home-economy/#comment-174364 teleolurian Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:19:37 +0000 http://www.punny.org/?p=568#comment-174364 Also, if you fire your cleaning staff, I bet you could attract all sorts of edible vermin! That would be awesome. Also, if you fire your cleaning staff, I bet you could attract all sorts of edible vermin! That would be awesome.

]]> By: Kyle http://www.punny.org/money/save-your-failing-restaurant-in-an-eat-at-home-economy/#comment-174353 Kyle Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:09:54 +0000 http://www.punny.org/?p=568#comment-174353 Sex certainly sells, but I think restauranteurs focus too much on the male side of the equation. We have Hooters and a hundred of other restaurants like it. How about openning a Peckers? I think women are far more likely to splurge on wine and fancy cheese at a restaurant than men. They are also impressed by napkins folded into the shape of animals. You could probably double your female business right there. Just hire a clown to work in the kitchen. Sex certainly sells, but I think restauranteurs focus too much on the male side of the equation. We have Hooters and a hundred of other restaurants like it. How about openning a Peckers? I think women are far more likely to splurge on wine and fancy cheese at a restaurant than men. They are also impressed by napkins folded into the shape of animals. You could probably double your female business right there. Just hire a clown to work in the kitchen.

]]>