1.

Matt
November 24th, 2006 at 2:37 am

Equal earning power has very little to do with a happy marriage. Two people earning six figures apiece will probably find it almost impossible to fulfill the requirements of their individual careers and raise a family at the same time. In these modern times a traditional “housewife” (or less common “househusband”) is not a necessity for a traditional family, but that model certainly works very well for a significant percentage of the population. Having one spouse who serves as the primary breadwinner can free the other spouse up to devote more energy to non-professional concerns.

Admit it, Nick– you’re kind of talking out of your ass on this one, and now regret the judgmental statement that people should marry only those in a similar financial boat to their own.

I mean, my god– haven’t you ever seen “Pretty Woman”?

Hate that sentiment, love your blog!

Matt

2.

Nick
November 24th, 2006 at 11:54 am

I’m sure there are plenty of people from totally opposite financial classes who will live happily ever after. But my recommendation is to make sure that differences in monetary status are not an issue going into the marriage. If two six-figure, full-time lawyers get married and want to have a family, obviously someone’s not going to stay a full-time lawyer for very long (or else the family will suffer in the long run).

Of course finances, health, and even stability will change many times throughout a marriage. But in my opinion, making sure they’re on similar levels for both people at the start gives a marriage a much better chance of succeeding.

And that’s why Pretty Woman makes for a great movie-watching experience: it describes a relationship that would have virtually no chance of working out in real life. It’s fun to watch and imagine something like that actually happening.

Still, I see your point, and I know any marriage has the potential for working. Well, except for any marriage involving Britney Spears.

3.

moneysmartlife
November 25th, 2006 at 2:44 am

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the movie Along Came Polly, http://www.alongcamepolly.com, but it sounds like you just built your own Riskmaster 3000 criteria for a spouse!

Of course, as Reuben Feffer would tell us, the numbers don’t always point us in the right direction. And of course, everything in the movies is real.

4.

jim
November 27th, 2006 at 12:43 pm

I love some good controversy!

5.

English Major
November 27th, 2006 at 5:02 pm

“…love by itself isn’t going to be enough for a successful marriage. Perhaps 500 years ago in simpler times it would have been.”

It’s probably worth noting here that 500 years ago the idea of marrying for money–that is, marriage as a transaction intended to be advantageous for all relevant parties–was commonplace, and the idea of marrying only for love wasn’t.

As to the rest of it, I’m 23 and a long way off from marrying for any reason, so I’m staying out of it.

6.

Clever Dude
November 27th, 2006 at 9:42 pm

I agree that you shouldn’t generally put a super-spender and a super-saver together, but that’s pretty much what I and my wife were before marriage. I was the spender (going into marriage with $20k in credit cards, a new Acura) and my wife was the saver (no car payment, no credit card debt).

We had alot of arguments about money before the wedding, but once the wedding hit, after a year and a half engagement, we were on the same page about spending, and it’s getting better. We’re both frugal, but I still have some room to get better (did I really need a brand new truck?).

But we weren’t the normal dating couple. We could easily talk about marriage and kids and the future, but not about romance. We’re finding that we need to work backwards towards the dating now, but I think that’s why we don’t have the financial disagreements we would have otherwise.

7.

John
November 30th, 2006 at 8:10 am

Yeah, they say that opposites attract thing doesn’t make for a good marriage. Most successful marriages are with people with similar personalities, qualities, etc….

8.

MoneyFwd
November 30th, 2006 at 9:02 am

I generally agree with your point on everything. Some of the statements are strong, but I think the idea behind all of them is right. Your spouse needs to be also your friend, you need understanding in money matters, and you need to want to go in the same direction.

9.

Bobert
December 7th, 2006 at 4:18 am

Don’t get married. It is a sham and there is NO benefit to the man. I repeat, NO benefit to the man.

I’ve made some pretty bad decisions in my life but marriage won’t be one of them.

10.

Sarah
January 26th, 2007 at 11:16 am

Marriage is more about the power to be able to resolve issues that come up - be it money or family or personality or anything really. If you marry someone who has a similar perspective on life, money, family, and love - I think it’s definitely a good recipe for success. The ability to compromise, be subjective, supportive and a good listener also help.

11.

BH
May 29th, 2008 at 5:01 am

I love Pretty Woman for the image that she (the wiggly-haired red-head) can finally be saved fr the treacherous evil-, dirty-minded men & needs only give in to 1 benevolent, rich, giving and Handsome man! although a wounded one. hmm… maybe the wound opens him to the red-head.
+ the red-head can finally do academia with the intention to earn big bucks N have to depend on no-man…

A reel fairytale, for the occasional break away from reality.