Comments on: Marry For Love. And Money. And Some Other Stuff. http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/ Adding a punchline to your bottom line Wed, 10 Mar 2010 09:35:06 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Chris http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-273048 Chris Tue, 01 Sep 2009 00:05:59 +0000 http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/#comment-273048 It isn't actually possible to marry for love. Why? Because actual love isnt the "heart go pitter patter" stuff our culture confuses with it. Real love only grows out of committment and years of shared experiences. There is just no way you can have that in advance! You should strive to marry someone you find lovable, of course, which is to say that person has many qualities you admire, but I think three hundred years of marrying for romantic "love" in the West have proven that one's emotions when dating have little if anything to do with how well things will go afterwards. I've actually known several women from Asia whose marriage had been arranged. They didn't even meet the groom until their wedding in some cases, yet it was obvious to me that they were in love with their husbands now, and that their husband loved them deeply too. I'm not suggesting we have arranged marriages; I'm suggesting young people be encouraged to go into marriage with their eyes wide open, make a realistic appraisal, good and bad, of a potential spouse, and lose the romantic garbage which is nothing but a fantasy. It isn’t actually possible to marry for love. Why? Because actual love isnt the “heart go pitter patter” stuff our culture confuses with it. Real love only grows out of committment and years of shared experiences. There is just no way you can have that in advance! You should strive to marry someone you find lovable, of course, which is to say that person has many qualities you admire, but I think three hundred years of marrying for romantic “love” in the West have proven that one’s emotions when dating have little if anything to do with how well things will go afterwards. I’ve actually known several women from Asia whose marriage had been arranged. They didn’t even meet the groom until their wedding in some cases, yet it was obvious to me that they were in love with their husbands now, and that their husband loved them deeply too. I’m not suggesting we have arranged marriages; I’m suggesting young people be encouraged to go into marriage with their eyes wide open, make a realistic appraisal, good and bad, of a potential spouse, and lose the romantic garbage which is nothing but a fantasy.

]]> By: Joanna Spilioti http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-257372 Joanna Spilioti Fri, 26 Jun 2009 02:22:50 +0000 http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/#comment-257372 Love is the base of happy marriage. A happy marriage is with health, money,accompayship and something else which stand for happiness,too. Love is the base of happy marriage. A happy marriage is with health, money,accompayship and something else which stand for happiness,too.

]]> By: BH http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-186847 BH Thu, 29 May 2008 10:01:26 +0000 http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/#comment-186847 I love Pretty Woman for the image that she (the wiggly-haired red-head) can finally be saved fr the treacherous evil-, dirty-minded men & needs only give in to 1 benevolent, rich, giving and Handsome man! although a wounded one. hmm... maybe the wound opens him to the red-head. + the red-head can finally do academia with the intention to earn big bucks N have to depend on no-man... A reel fairytale, for the occasional break away from reality. I love Pretty Woman for the image that she (the wiggly-haired red-head) can finally be saved fr the treacherous evil-, dirty-minded men & needs only give in to 1 benevolent, rich, giving and Handsome man! although a wounded one. hmm… maybe the wound opens him to the red-head.
+ the red-head can finally do academia with the intention to earn big bucks N have to depend on no-man…

A reel fairytale, for the occasional break away from reality.

]]> By: » Money Madness @ FreeMoneyFinance @ raising4boys.com http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-50389 » Money Madness @ FreeMoneyFinance @ raising4boys.com Tue, 06 Mar 2007 02:05:13 +0000 http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/#comment-50389 [...] Ten Simple Ways to Cover Your Ass(ets) defeated Marry for Love. And Money. And Some Other Stuff. [...] [...] Ten Simple Ways to Cover Your Ass(ets) defeated Marry for Love. And Money. And Some Other Stuff. [...]

]]> By: » Money Madness @ fivecentnickel.com http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-50387 » Money Madness @ fivecentnickel.com Tue, 06 Mar 2007 02:00:28 +0000 http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/#comment-50387 [...] Ten Simple Ways to Cover Your Ass(ets) defeated Marry for Love. And Money. And Some Other Stuff. [...] [...] Ten Simple Ways to Cover Your Ass(ets) defeated Marry for Love. And Money. And Some Other Stuff. [...]

]]> By: Free Money Finance http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-49689 Free Money Finance Tue, 27 Feb 2007 16:34:35 +0000 http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/#comment-49689 <strong>Free Money Finance March Madness, Round 1, Posts 17-32...</strong> Here we go with the first round of Free Money Finance March Madness (if you wonder what's going on in these posts, see my article announcing March Madness and/or click on my March Madness category link and scroll down to... Free Money Finance March Madness, Round 1, Posts 17-32…

Here we go with the first round of Free Money Finance March Madness (if you wonder what’s going on in these posts, see my article announcing March Madness and/or click on my March Madness category link and scroll down to…

]]> By: Sarah http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-43406 Sarah Fri, 26 Jan 2007 16:16:57 +0000 http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/#comment-43406 Marriage is more about the power to be able to resolve issues that come up - be it money or family or personality or anything really. If you marry someone who has a similar perspective on life, money, family, and love - I think it's definitely a good recipe for success. The ability to compromise, be subjective, supportive and a good listener also help. Marriage is more about the power to be able to resolve issues that come up – be it money or family or personality or anything really. If you marry someone who has a similar perspective on life, money, family, and love – I think it’s definitely a good recipe for success. The ability to compromise, be subjective, supportive and a good listener also help.

]]> By: Bobert http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-7413 Bobert Thu, 07 Dec 2006 09:18:29 +0000 http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/#comment-7413 Don't get married. It is a sham and there is NO benefit to the man. I repeat, NO benefit to the man. I've made some pretty bad decisions in my life but marriage won't be one of them. Don’t get married. It is a sham and there is NO benefit to the man. I repeat, NO benefit to the man.

I’ve made some pretty bad decisions in my life but marriage won’t be one of them.

]]> By: MoneyFwd http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-6885 MoneyFwd Thu, 30 Nov 2006 14:02:32 +0000 http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/#comment-6885 I generally agree with your point on everything. Some of the statements are strong, but I think the idea behind all of them is right. Your spouse needs to be also your friend, you need understanding in money matters, and you need to want to go in the same direction. I generally agree with your point on everything. Some of the statements are strong, but I think the idea behind all of them is right. Your spouse needs to be also your friend, you need understanding in money matters, and you need to want to go in the same direction.

]]> By: John http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-6882 John Thu, 30 Nov 2006 13:10:29 +0000 http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/#comment-6882 Yeah, they say that opposites attract thing doesn't make for a good marriage. Most successful marriages are with people with similar personalities, qualities, etc.... Yeah, they say that opposites attract thing doesn’t make for a good marriage. Most successful marriages are with people with similar personalities, qualities, etc….

]]> By: Clever Dude http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-6722 Clever Dude Tue, 28 Nov 2006 02:42:27 +0000 http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/#comment-6722 I agree that you shouldn't generally put a super-spender and a super-saver together, but that's pretty much what I and my wife were before marriage. I was the spender (going into marriage with $20k in credit cards, a new Acura) and my wife was the saver (no car payment, no credit card debt). We had alot of arguments about money before the wedding, but once the wedding hit, after a year and a half engagement, we were on the same page about spending, and it's getting better. We're both frugal, but I still have some room to get better (did I really need a brand new truck?). But we weren't the normal dating couple. We could easily talk about marriage and kids and the future, but not about romance. We're finding that we need to work backwards towards the dating now, but I think that's why we don't have the financial disagreements we would have otherwise. I agree that you shouldn’t generally put a super-spender and a super-saver together, but that’s pretty much what I and my wife were before marriage. I was the spender (going into marriage with $20k in credit cards, a new Acura) and my wife was the saver (no car payment, no credit card debt).

We had alot of arguments about money before the wedding, but once the wedding hit, after a year and a half engagement, we were on the same page about spending, and it’s getting better. We’re both frugal, but I still have some room to get better (did I really need a brand new truck?).

But we weren’t the normal dating couple. We could easily talk about marriage and kids and the future, but not about romance. We’re finding that we need to work backwards towards the dating now, but I think that’s why we don’t have the financial disagreements we would have otherwise.

]]> By: English Major http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-6709 English Major Mon, 27 Nov 2006 22:02:43 +0000 http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/#comment-6709 "...love by itself isn’t going to be enough for a successful marriage. Perhaps 500 years ago in simpler times it would have been." It's probably worth noting here that 500 years ago the idea of marrying for money--that is, marriage as a transaction intended to be advantageous for all relevant parties--was commonplace, and the idea of marrying <i>only</i> for love wasn't. As to the rest of it, I'm 23 and a long way off from marrying for <i>any</i> reason, so I'm staying out of it. “…love by itself isn’t going to be enough for a successful marriage. Perhaps 500 years ago in simpler times it would have been.”

It’s probably worth noting here that 500 years ago the idea of marrying for money–that is, marriage as a transaction intended to be advantageous for all relevant parties–was commonplace, and the idea of marrying only for love wasn’t.

As to the rest of it, I’m 23 and a long way off from marrying for any reason, so I’m staying out of it.

]]> By: jim http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-6701 jim Mon, 27 Nov 2006 17:43:42 +0000 http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/#comment-6701 I love some good controversy! :) I love some good controversy! :)

]]> By: moneysmartlife http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-6604 moneysmartlife Sat, 25 Nov 2006 07:44:04 +0000 http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/#comment-6604 I don't know if you've ever seen the movie Along Came Polly, www.alongcamepolly.com, but it sounds like you just built your own Riskmaster 3000 criteria for a spouse! Of course, as Reuben Feffer would tell us, the numbers don't always point us in the right direction. And of course, everything in the movies is real. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the movie Along Came Polly, http://www.alongcamepolly.com, but it sounds like you just built your own Riskmaster 3000 criteria for a spouse!

Of course, as Reuben Feffer would tell us, the numbers don’t always point us in the right direction. And of course, everything in the movies is real.

]]> By: Nick http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-6581 Nick Fri, 24 Nov 2006 16:54:19 +0000 http://www.punny.org/money/marry-for-love-and-money-and-some-other-stuff/#comment-6581 I'm sure there are plenty of people from totally opposite financial classes who will live happily ever after. But my recommendation is to make sure that differences in monetary status are not an issue <i>going into</i> the marriage. If two six-figure, full-time lawyers get married and want to have a family, obviously someone's not going to stay a full-time lawyer for very long (or else the family will suffer in the long run). Of course finances, health, and even stability will change many times throughout a marriage. But in my opinion, making sure they're on similar levels for both people at the start gives a marriage a much better chance of succeeding. And that's why Pretty Woman makes for a great movie-watching experience: it describes a relationship that would have virtually no chance of working out in real life. It's fun to watch and imagine something like that actually happening. Still, I see your point, and I know any marriage has the potential for working. Well, except for any marriage involving Britney Spears. I’m sure there are plenty of people from totally opposite financial classes who will live happily ever after. But my recommendation is to make sure that differences in monetary status are not an issue going into the marriage. If two six-figure, full-time lawyers get married and want to have a family, obviously someone’s not going to stay a full-time lawyer for very long (or else the family will suffer in the long run).

Of course finances, health, and even stability will change many times throughout a marriage. But in my opinion, making sure they’re on similar levels for both people at the start gives a marriage a much better chance of succeeding.

And that’s why Pretty Woman makes for a great movie-watching experience: it describes a relationship that would have virtually no chance of working out in real life. It’s fun to watch and imagine something like that actually happening.

Still, I see your point, and I know any marriage has the potential for working. Well, except for any marriage involving Britney Spears.

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