How to Fake Pregnancy So You Can Get Free Ice Cream on May 21st
Author: Nick
Category: Money
Topics: deals, food
You people probably think I’ve really lost it this time. But it’s true! Baskin Robbins is giving away free ice cream to expectant women on May 21, 2008. Between 11am and 10pm, customers in select cities can pop by their BR for a free three-ounce soft serve cup or cone—but only if you’re preggers!
Now if you’re like me, you like free things. And if you’re like my wife, you like ice cream. So when Baskin Robbins and Ben & Jerry’s both had free or cheap ice cream events a couple of weeks ago, we didn’t hesitate to stand in line with a bunch of other cheap bastards to get some of that frozen milk stuff. This time, however, it’ll be much harder to claim our prize. That’s because my wife is not pregnant.
I don’t know about you, but I think this promotion is a little too sexist. For one, it excludes a really swell bunch of folks known as men. Plus it rewards rampant baby-making and overpopulation. Worst of all, it excludes the portion of the population most deserving of ice cream: adorable little girls. I can imagine poor seven-year-old Katie crying to her mom that Baskin Robbins wouldn’t give her free ice cream unless she had sex with a man and got knocked up. Also, unless they can finally figure out how to make their own sperm, lesbians are SOL on this deal too.
Notice that I said it will be much harder to claim our prize, not impossible. No no, I’m not going to impregnate my wife just to get her some free ice cream. (Try explaining that one to your future child. “You weren’t an accident, sweetie. You were a coupon!”) Because this promotion is so dastardly and devious, I feel it is my civic duty to find a way to take advantage of it! And if you’re like me and your wife won’t let you near her until this promotion is over is not with child, here are some tricks you can use to fool the folks behind the Baskin Robbins counter into thinking you’ve got a bun in your oven. (Note: All of these tips work best if you’re a woman.)
- Bump it up. BR is calling it “Bump Day” for a reason: you’ll need one on your belly to cash in on this deal. If you’re already fat in the right places, you should be able to pull this step off easily. If not, there are a variety of bump simulation devices (BSDs) available on the market today. Rolled-up t-shirts, zip-lock bags full of pudding, and hot water bottles are just a few items you can use to pull off the necessary look.
- Act pregnant. When you walk into Baskin Robbins, you should do all of the things a woman normally does when she is toting around a baby in her uterus. For instance, if you bring the baby’s “father” along, you can cuss him out for “making you that way.” Or you can ask the person behind the ice cream counter if you can get that order with a side of pickles and hot dogs.
- Get your glow on. You know how pregnant women have a sort of “glow” about them? Yeah, you can fake the glow pretty easily with various lotions and other things you probably have in your make-up box right now.
- Provide photographic evidence. A picture from “your recent ultrasound” (oh hey, what a coincidence: a Google image search for “ultrasound”) should be enough to prove that you’re with child, even if it doesn’t show yet.
- Bring a pregnancy test. If you’re not pregnant, it’s going to be very difficult to pass one of those over-the-counter do-it-yourself pee-on-a-stick tests, even if it’s for free ice cream. So get one of your pregnant gal pals to help you cheat by taking the test herself. Then bring the pre-completed test to your nearest Baskin Robbins, wave it around in the cashier’s face (it’ll be more convincing if it’s really dripping wet), and claim your prize.
- Break water. Step 1: Strap a plastic bag full of water to your upper thigh under a dress. Step 2: Go to Baskin Robbins. Step 3: Puncture the bag. Step 4: Scream, “My water just broke! Give me my ice cream so I can go to the hospital!” They’ll probably give you one of those 10-gallon buckets just to get you out the door.
- Just lie. If you’re not interested in any of the above ideas, you could just lie and say you’re pregnant. After all, pregnancy doesn’t really show until a few months in anyway. Of course, if they start equipping Baskin Robbins with ultrasounds, you might be in trouble.
- Free ice cream for sluts, too. Even if you don’t look or act pregnant, you might still be able to get your free ice cream simply by asking for it, especially if you dress like a whore. If the employees ask if you’re pregnant, simply wink and reply, “Why, are you offering?”
Fair warning: if you try to con your way into some free ice cream with a phony bump and you end up getting pregnant shortly after, you totally had it coming. That said, you might want to avoid Baskin Robbins’ experimental new flavor that it’s offering only during this event: Vanilla Sperm Explosion.
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106 Responses »
1.
Clever Dude
May 15th, 2008 at 11:42 am
Seriously, how can they do this deal legally? How may lawsuits are going to erupt from horny 17 year olds insisting on touching a hot woman’s tummy to “feel the baby” before giving her ice cream?
2.
s. jennifer rose
May 15th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
This is a very flawed offer for so many reasons. But the one I’ll harp on is the women that aren’t showing yet. Some people don’t show until 4-5 months. So not only is it sexist, etc, but it’s really late-pregnantist…unless they plan on doing this on the honor system….
3.
Kyle
May 15th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
You think it would work if I dressed in drag?
4.
Nick
May 15th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Kyle, absolutely. Go give it a shot and send pics.
5.
alh
May 15th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Another bummer: “Offer available at select stores in
California, Chicago, New York, Nashville, TN and El Paso, TX.”
They’re really being restrictive with this offer… heh
6.
Thomas
May 17th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Let’s hope the “baby” doesn’t slip out.
7.
Monty Loree
May 17th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
OMG… I think there may a slight financial loss scenario..
Spending $200,000+ on a child to save $3.00 on ice cream.
Oh well… maybe the wife wants another child… NOT!!
It’s nice that they’re giving incentives to pregnant women though.
8.
Pamela Grundy
May 18th, 2008 at 11:52 am
This made me laugh out loud! So funny! But seriously, when do the rest of us get a shot? How about low-fat free ice cream for chubby people? Free mocha ice cream for bitter underemployed college graduates? Free spinach ice cream for pushy vegetarians? Why stop with the virginally-challenged? So many other good promotional opportunities, so little time…
9.
A1 Medical Supplies
May 19th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Those were some really funny ideas. I might go spend the day at Baskin Robbins just on the off chance that someone might come in waving a wet pregnancy test all over the counter…
10.
Maria @ Financial-Tip
May 19th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
I am going to claim my ice cream on the grounds that I might be pregnant, it’s too early to know.
11.
Keahi Pelayo
May 20th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Do you do your own art work, if so, thanks for going for it. I will have to put a wig on to get my ice cream.
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12.
Xina
May 20th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
It’s even more restrictive than that – expectant mothers are advised to AVOID soft serve during pregnancy, as there’s a risk of contracting listeria from it. (Ironically, regular scooped ice cream is perfectly fine!)
So the “giveaway” is limited to a few locations, and to people who shouldn’t be eating soft serve anyway!
13.
Cindy at Her Family Blog
May 21st, 2008 at 10:17 am
You know, I was pregnant this time five years ago, and I still have some of the weight laying on my stomach. I do not want another child to save money on ice cream, but I can make it look that way!
This is crazy… not all pregnant women love ice cream. I hated it when I was prego.
14.
Drunk Girls
December 7th, 2008 at 4:26 am
Sluts get free ice cream every day…no fair.
15.
yeanny
April 14th, 2009 at 4:35 am
I love Baskin Robbins,.. Can i get that offer this year?? Fiuh i really hoping for that
16.
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April 15th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
I think the cartoon depicted it perfectly. Why would you get pregnant just to get a $3.00 icer cream. It’s like those people taht drive across town to save $1.00, but they spent $10.00 in gas getting there.
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May 4th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
haha that was a funny post
18.
Ice cream maker man from Japan
May 28th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Excellent Post… just one thing…I found this through google and didn’t notice the post date was last year… Doh! I was getting kinda excited to take my preggo wife for some baskin robbins. Of course if they’re doing it again this year… you could always go the janes addiction been caught stealing route. I also wonder if any fat women got offended when the clerk offered some free ice cream and the woman was only fat, not pregnant? My ex-wife made that mistake once asking a friend when she was due.
19.
Memphis TN HOmes
June 3rd, 2009 at 2:32 am
BR is calling it “Bump Day” for a reason: you’ll need one on your belly to cash in on this deal.
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June 7th, 2009 at 12:57 am
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July 10th, 2009 at 9:07 am
Wow! That is so nice. But I guess I lost my chance for some baskin robbins.
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August 20th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Haha, so i totally should have read this in may when my mom was pregnant lol. She would’ve loved some ice cream! Wonder if i can get away with it, even though i am only 15, i could so do the whole “Aaah my water broke! Now give me some ice cream so i can go to the hospital!” thing! LOL!
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prenatal bloke
April 13th, 2010 at 3:47 am
I will eat my hat if people can upload photos of their attempt to pass off as being pregnant in order to receive ice cream. And no doubt people will, nice little pr thing baskind could get going!
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April 30th, 2010 at 3:14 pm
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May 4th, 2010 at 10:38 pm
Anything for a little Ice cream …..
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May 14th, 2010 at 4:14 pm
HA!! I love the “free ice cream for sluts”
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June 30th, 2010 at 7:48 am
Hi,Its a great post.i love Ice Cream
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July 6th, 2010 at 3:03 pm
Gees how badly do we want our ice cream fix?
Think about it. Really? lol
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July 14th, 2010 at 1:25 am
Wow, I was actually pregnant when this contest was going on and had no idea
Do you know if it’s a yearly thing? Maybe I’ll be pregnant with the next one next time around 
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Andung
July 27th, 2010 at 8:31 pm
according Dr. Phil.com, many women crave junk foods such as ice cream during pregnancy because junk food is associated with comfort.
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I like the break water idea.
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October 28th, 2010 at 1:29 pm
That is so ridiculous. What if you’re in your first trimester and not even showing yet? Does it come with pickles too? LOL
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February 23rd, 2011 at 12:47 am
I think there may a slight financial loss scenario. I might go spend the day at Baskin Robbins just on the off chance that someone might come in waving a wet pregnancy test all over the counter. Thank you.
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Candy Budyta
March 1st, 2011 at 8:01 pm
what an idea for those who are craving for ice creams. The author of this post has his funnier way of illustrating the ad. Thinking of applying the technique just to grab the free ice cream. Oh, dad would not love the idea for sure. HA!
50.
Lorraine
March 9th, 2011 at 3:13 am
Thanks for the laugh. Made me and my hubby laugh so hard reading it. At first, we weren’t sure if you were being serious or not, but figured it out pretty quick.
Love the list, especially toward the end.
Just out of curiosity, did you end up getting the ice cream?
51.
Lorraine
March 9th, 2011 at 3:17 am
By the way, it’s too bad this was back in 2008. I was just pregnant recently and would have like the deal. Let’s see…. back in 2008…. yes, I was busy gaining weight while pregnant then too, and the ice cream wouldn’t have hurt at all. Oh, darn it.
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March 9th, 2011 at 3:20 am
It’s too bad this was back in 2008. I was just pregnant recently and would have like the deal. Let’s see…. back in 2008…. yes, I was busy gaining weight while pregnant then too, and the ice cream wouldn’t have hurt at all. Oh, darn it.
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March 13th, 2011 at 6:11 pm
I really want to know if ice cream is safe for pregnant women, especially women with pregnancy after 40 years of age, because i hear at this age getting pregnant and being pregnant is really very delicate.
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June 14th, 2011 at 2:37 am
Just for a cup of ice cream, use the fake and false means can cause a big problem for us. Thanks for sharing this interesting and funny post.
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November 27th, 2011 at 10:28 pm
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