How to Cure Obsessive-Compulsive 401(k) Checking
Author: Nick
Category: Money
Topics: economy, investing, retirement
If you’re like me (you poor, depraved soul) then you’ve been checking your retirement accounts rather obsessively over the last few weeks thanks to headlines like “Dow Drops Below 10,000!” and “Is the Next Great Depression Right Around the Corner?” and “Lindsay Lohan Comes Out of the Closet.”
Some anecdotal evidence is suggesting that many people have lost 5-10% of the values of their retirement accounts in 2008. Others have been even less fortunate; some folks heavily invested in their own companies only to see them go under and take their nest eggs with them.
I’ve been moderately more fortunate than others as my own company’s stock is still in the vicinity of its all-time highs and is countering losses in the other parts of my 401(k). When I checked this morning, I confirmed that I’ve actually netted 13 big dollars on my investments this year. And that brings me to the point of today’s rant discussion: why am I obsessively checking my 401(k)? Is there something I think I can do about it by watching its value decline day by day? Perhaps my subconscious believes that by keeping a close eye on it, I can magically reverse its course.
Well, it’s time for me to come clean: today was the first day I’ve checked my 401(k) balance in over four months, and it’s at nearly the same value as it was four months ago. I realized early on that obsessively checking my 401(k)’s balance every day would only cause me needless worry. After all, I’m at least 35 years from the normal retirement age, and the balance of my 401(k) is relatively small enough that it’s hardly worth worrying about in the long run. If anything, I’ll only cause myself pointless stress checking it during this time of economic turmoil.
Unfortunately just about everyone I know has not been as successful in fending off the “401(k) OCD.” I frequently walk down the hallway at my work and see people logged on to our retirement account management website to check how their money is doing. And many of these are workers that are my age or younger! Even worse, there are those who have shifted most or all of their retirement funds to non-stock assets. If you wanted to sit on the sidelines while the market takes a nosedive, the time to do that was months ago! Now many of them will likely leave their 401(k)s parked in “safe” investments and will miss out on any rebound the market makes in the coming months and years.
Lucky for them and you, there are ways to fight 401(k) OCD. Talk to your doctor about prescription Cialis… oh, wait, that’s for an entirely different problem. Here are some ways you can keep yourself from obsessing over your retirement accounts that have worked for me:
- Lock yourself out of your accounts. Call the company which maintains your retirement accounts and change your access passwords. When they ask what you’d like to change them to, say “I don’t care. Pick something and don’t tell me.” Just make sure you have a way to unlock your account a few years down the road.
- Stop watching financial news. Call your cable provider and cancel CNN, MSNBC, and everything else that isn’t Cartoon Network and Playboy.
- Dump your company’s stock. If you still wanna stick in the stock market at this point, make sure your retirement accounts are diversified. Having 90% of your retirement wealth tied to the success or failure of your company is not diversified—it’s stupified.
- Make smarter investments. Perhaps when you first set up your 401(k), your friends told you which investments you should pursue. If your retirement account is down 30% this year, you may want to switch your investments around a bit to include a nicer variety of investments like commodities and foreign stocks. And also find new friends.
- Temporarily stop contributing to your accounts. This move probably only makes sense if you’re in the 50+ crowd. If you’re contributing $300 to your 401(k) each week, and your 401(k) in turn loses $3,000 a week, you may want to temporarily halt your contributions and stick your money into conventional savings. But if you’re young and/or your employer matches your contributions, you’ll need to do the math to see if contributing still makes sense.
- Mind your debts and cash savings. You’ll feel a lot better about your plummeting retirement account balance if your debt is also plummeting rapidly. Paying off debt quicker is one of the safest investments you can make because you’ll know exactly how much money you’re saving as you do it.
- Address the real financial issues in your life. Perhaps your obsessive 401(k) watching is merely a symptom of a much bigger personal fiscal problem. If you’re worried about your retirement funds drying up while you’re buying Mercedes and vacationing in Tahiti, then your priorities may be a little mixed up.
Follow those steps to relieve your retirement account stress and your 401(k) OCD should be cured in no time. And now that you have an extra 5 or 10 minutes a day that you aren’t watching your retirement funds crumble, you can put that time to good use by fortifying your house and stocking up on supplies for the coming Even Greater Depression.
Hmm, saying that probably didn’t do anything to ease anybody’s anxiety. Sorry!
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25 Responses »
1.
kurt
October 8th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
It’s hitting way too close to home, OCD (obsessive cash decrease), and no one knows quite when it will strike, maybe the DOW drops 5%, AIG gets a 85 Billion dollar boost and goes on a $450,000 7 day vacation, all sending markets into turmoil.. but you too can be OCD free, turn off all electronic devices such as radio, tv, computer, stop reading print articles, sale everything and move to the mountains and live like grissly adams. Nahhh, I would miss to much, so I guess I will just OCD away until my heart is content, or my brain hurts…which ever comes first….
2.
twenties money
October 9th, 2008 at 7:33 am
I wish my numbers were as low as that evidence you suggest. My 401k is down almost 40%. I used to check my 401k once a week, both to make sure it was still there and to watch it grow. It’s exciting to watch it grow but all this year it has been shrinking. I stopped checking my balance to avoid depression. On another note however, I’m so far from retirement that I don’t need to worry about it. I think I’ve finally rationalized the fact that I’m getting more shares per dollar invested and that in the long term it will all work itself out. I most certainly feel bad for anyone nearing retirement, or those in retirement. I know my grandmother is having a hard time because she lives off her stock investments and IRA account. I can’t imagine it’s easy.
3.
Clever Dude
October 9th, 2008 at 7:53 am
I’m actually going in right now to bump up my 401k contributions. Now is the best time (assuming we’re close to bottom). Plus I need some more tax deductible expenses for this year
4.
market trading
October 9th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Great post, I’m going to share this with everyone because so many are feeling really bad after these last 2 weeks down.
5.
stock market
October 9th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Most people need more guidance than is currently offered by most financial services providers. I worked for the largest 401k provider in the world and as long as investments go up, people are happy. They’re only telling people to stay invested on the long side and never show them how to hedge or get short, and that is why everyone always looses money together.
6.
stock option trading
October 9th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
I’d recommend anyone who is 35 or under to start increasing their payroll deferrals into their 401k. Feel happy you have this opportunity to pick up more shares of your “least favorite” mututal funds because they’ll probably be your favorites in 5-10 years.
7.
John F
October 10th, 2008 at 8:11 am
If you can wait awhile for a return, now is the time to buy the big name stocks. As long as they are stable ( and its hard to predict who is and who isn’t sometinmes) time will return your investment. It sort of like a fire sale on the big names. Many of the financial gurus have said that for younger people now may be the only time to buy stocks like Microsoft, Google and other big names.
8.
Lina
October 10th, 2008 at 8:44 am
Thank you for writing it… I am a person who is too far from understanding anything concerning finance and need step-by-step explanations and simple steps to follow, otherwise I just stay puzzled with the situation, understanding that things go wrong with no plan what to do to have the improved.
9.
Jerry D.
October 10th, 2008 at 9:04 am
Ok, I agree and disagree on a few different things. I think checking your 401K regularly is important because it allows you to follow your money. I agree that checking it everyday does not help whatsoever. It is smart, however to check every month, just to make sure your investments aren’t going completely astray. To be honest though Nick, if your company is doing so well and the stock price hasn’t dropped at all I think you’ve got a great job (Are they hiring?).
On a side note I also agree with slowing down your contributions to your 401K. I think your money would be better elsewhere right now. Who knows, though 3 months from now. I say that we just invest in the giant hurricane wall made of duck tape and bungee cords. That’s a better way to inject wealth into the economy. Seems like a better alternative.
10.
San diego Lawyer
October 10th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
I am polishing my gun as we speak to prepare for this Even Greater Depression. I have also invested heavily in rabbit traps (these things are everywhere where I live). I suspect that I will rake in all the shinny beads and sea shells I can handle once our economy falls back into the stone age, what with all my with rabbit pelts, rabbit meat, and stunning good looks that I will have. I may even pick up an extra wife or two along the way as all the trophy wives who married men with fat 401(k)s realize that they can’t catch rabbits worth squat.
My genes must live on!
11.
John | Financial Calculators
October 11th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
I’ve got a long time until retirement so I don’t bother checking my accounts very often. Once in awhile I make sure I have a good asset allocation, I add money regularly, and then just ride out the storms.
12.
Money Funk
October 13th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Love the comic!
I don’t check my 401K. I have many years and am confident it will pick back up
13.
Accelerated Mortgage Program
October 13th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
its hard not to frequently check it, especially in this market, but its more exciting to check in less often, like on a yearly basis
-jack
14.
A1 Medical Supplies
October 14th, 2008 at 8:32 am
I imagine the compulsive DOW checking has to be even harder to break. It went from 700 to 900 yesterday over the course of an hour.
I think #2 sounds like the winner. I imagine canceling all channels except playboy and cartoon network might cause a little marital stress for some folks though
15.
Biz Cash Needs
October 14th, 2008 at 11:19 am
I am just getting ready to jump into the market. I figure it can only get better, and that as long as I can afford to do so, I might as well get some stocks and see what happens when the market finally rebounds.
16.
California Business Administration Classes
October 15th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
I’m currently in college, but I know my parents are pretty worried about the money in their 401K accounts. A friend of theirs recently lost $64,000 due to the bad condition of the stock market. It’s a shame…it seems like nothing is secure anymore.
17.
PMB
October 15th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Compulsive, paranoid and depressed about 401 K’s. It’s hard to know what to think or do.
18.
Jordans
October 20th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
“lost $64,000 due to the bad condition of the stock market”
wow that sucks…
19.
Financial Planners
October 22nd, 2008 at 7:43 am
I have never checked my 401K. Even never think about how much I have there.
20.
John - iPod
October 30th, 2008 at 11:48 am
Do you draw all these comics yourself? If you do, well done, they are great!
John
21.
Cassandra Leatherman
November 10th, 2008 at 12:25 am
Nice comic you got there and you really made me laugh on that one =D, when the news spill out the fall down of the stock market it brings shocks to everyone specially to investors and other businessmen and they are wondering if they can get their money back.
That was really hard to accept that you are investing for your future and yet there is a possibility that you cannot claim it.
22.
San Diego
November 11th, 2008 at 10:36 am
hi, the comics are realy cool , well i have never checked my 401k too but maybe now after having read this article i will start doing it
23.
investment professional
November 12th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
However, entirely ignoring your investments is not the way to go. If you do follow the financial news and do actively manage your retirement then it was perfectly possible to pull your money out and save a boatload on this most recent crash. I keep my retirement primarily in mutual funds with no transaction fees, making “short-term” (6-12 month) investments very easy and cost free.
24.
Student
November 18th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
I don’t think I have OCD but it is difficult not to check once a week in this market. I haven’t been as lucky as you. Hard to believe that you have been able to keep your 401k intact.
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