Eat Your Money’s Worth At Any All-You-Can-Eat Buffet
Author: Nick
Category: Money
Topics: buffets, food, frugality
My name is Nick, and I’m an all-you-can-eat-buffet-holic.
Thanks to an incredible metabolism, I’m able to eat 73 pounds of food in one sitting and not gain an ounce. This has spelled disaster for many area all-you-can-eat buffets whose owners break down and cry when they see me coming. I am a master of eating, and you can be too.
Okay, so maybe all-you-can-eat buffets (henceforth simply “buffets”) aren’t the best thing for your body; but a limitless food selection of questionable nutrition at a fixed price is a magical thing for people eating on a budget. One major problem has plagued buffet-eaters throughout the ages: a few plates later and you can’t eat any more. Even folks of gargantuan proportions often find themselves unable to down enough food to justify the price tag.
If things like health and being able to see your feet don’t really concern you, here are some tactics for eating your money’s worth at all-you-can-eat buffets that’ll have you striking fear in the heart of buffet restaurateurs everywhere.
General Buffet Tactics
Pre-Meal Planning
- Do NOT starve yourself ahead of time. One classic dinner buffet strategy is to skip breakfast and lunch so that you’re starving in the evening. If you try this method, you’ll usually find that your stomach can’t handle the shock of going from “help, need food” to “12 pounds of beef” just like that. Eat a normal breakfast and a light lunch earlier in the day and you’ll keep your metabolism in top form well into the night.
- Load up on carbs beforehand. Doughnuts, toaster pastries, and anything else where ingredient #1 is carbs will help ensure that you’re hungry and able to stomach a lot by dinnertime.
- Clear the runway. Make sure you pay a nice long visit to the bathroom not long before your visit to the buffet. You’re going to need every last square inch of those intestines.
- Break out the fat pants. Don’t even think of showing up to the buffet in pants that actually fit you. You want two sizes above normal at a minimum. Sweat pants work great too.
- Don’t plan to drive home. Pretend you’re going out for a night of heavy drinking. Give someone else the keys, or know the number for a cab. You don’t want the thought of any physical activity creeping into your head during your meal-a-thon.
- Get there early. The food will be fresher if you show up ahead of the crowd. Fresher food is tastier, so you’ll enjoy eating it more.
- Bring a book. What, you had other plans for the evening? No way, Jose. Get there ahead of the crowd and plan to stay until closing. You’ll want to take a long break or two, so bring something to keep yourself occupied while your fork is empty.
Attack That Buffet!
- Sit close, but not too close. If you can seat yourself, don’t pick a table too far from the action. Even a little bit of walking will contribute to your fatigue levels. At the same time, don’t sit two feet from the food stations because all those smells will hit you at once and wreak havoc on your olfaction.
- First stop: meat. The ham, beef, and chicken will likely be tucked away in the far corner from where you’re seated, but that should be your first target. Soups, breads, pastas, and rice are simply road blocks intended to fill you up quickly and save the restaurant money.
- Your beverage of choice: nothing. Drink as little as possible. Liquids take up space in your stomach that could be better used for food. If you must, pour yourself a half glass of water and take a sip after every plate–just enough to cleanse your palate for the next round.
- Second stop: meat. Seriously, load up on meat if you want your money’s worth. At full-service carving stations, let the carver keep loading your plate until it’s full of dead animal. Don’t be tempted to shove some mashed potatoes on the side to fill the gap in that plate.
- Third stop: meat. Or maybe seafood. Just don’t fall for those generic-looking white fish fillets you’ll sometimes see. They usually taste terrible and are cheaper than tender slices of beef.
- Fourth stop: something else. If you’re still eating after downing a few pounds of pork and poultry, you’re probably close to breaking even. Feel free to sample some of the other wares. Bread should still be a no-no because it’s dirt cheap and will fill your tummy faster than you can say “I gotta puke.”
- Take a break. Now is probably a good time to break out that book and pause for a bit. Avoid the temptation to down a mug of soda. The only digestive aid you should use right now is time.
- Fifth through ??? stops: victory! Once you’ve gotten your money’s worth, it’s time to celebrate your win. Grab a brownie, smother it with ice cream, toss on every topping in sight, and top it all off with a big slice of roast beef. Mmmmm.
Recovery
- Resist the urge to sleep. You’ve just eaten 13 pounds of the finest food $10 can buy. Along comes Mr. Sandman ready to knock you out, but you don’t want to give in to Dreamland just yet. Try to stay up for at least three hours after finishing at the buffet to allow your upper digestive system time to process your meal. This will help you get through the night without feeling like you ate a grenade.
- Now is a good time for some water. You know how your body is normally 70% water? After a buffet, it probably drops to about 12% water for a bit. Drink a glass or two of water to refill your body’s liquid levels. It’ll aid digestion too.
- Stop eating. If you need to eat anything before the next morning, you obviously left the buffet without squeezing it for every last dime. Padlock the fridge if you must–your eating is done for today.
- Be prepared for an ungrateful stomach. You just gave it all this wonderful food, but your stomach returns the favor with aches, pains, cramps, and rumbling. Keep your favorite over-the-counter digestive medicines on hand, though you may find that a good night’s rest is all you need to put a wild food night behind you.
- Don’t repeat for a while. You probably just shaved a few days off your normal life span, so hold off on making a return trip to the buffet for at least a month or two. Resume your normal healthy diet, get plenty of exercise, and try not to eat out too much.
Certain people have other strategies that work for them. For example, some may swear that exercise, tons of water, or even sex before the buffet helps them put away more food. You’ll have to experiment with these and other activities to see what, if anything, helps boost your eating power.
All-You-Can-Eat Case Studies
Not all buffets are created equal. Here’s a look at a few different buffets and some tips for getting your money’s worth at each.
Case Study: CiCi’s Pizza
Menu: Pizza, salad, pasta, dessert, soda.
Price: $4-5.
Overview: This is about as cheap as all-you-can-eat buffets get. How can CiCi’s fill your stomach for five bucks or less and still stay in business? It’s simple–most of the food is cheap and easy to make. The pizzas are shipped frozen and heated on a conveyor belt. The salad ingredients come in bulk; same with the deserts.
Strategies for getting your money’s worth:
- Soda no-no. Jenn at Frugal Upstate reminded me of the #1 rule for CiCi’s Pizza: don’t buy sodas. Ask for water and you’ll get a free glass for water. Soda is about $1.50 by itself, and you’d have to drink a lot of it (or eat more pizza) to make back your money.
- Know your pizzas. Come on, how hard can it be to eat five dollars worth of pizza? When the pizzas probably cost about a buck each, very hard. The meat-topped or specialty pizzas are comparable to those frozen pizzas you can get in the grocery store for around $3 each on sale. You’ll need to down the equivalent of one-and-a-half to two pizzas to get your money’s worth here. Avoid the plain cheese pizzas, and watch out for the colorful pizzas with peppers and other ingredients that can do a quick number on your tummy.
- Go for the sauce. You’ll notice one keep ingredient missing from most of CiCi’s pizzas: tomato sauce. That’s because it would be the most expensive ingredient, and they figure you won’t miss something that’s usually hidden under the cheese anyway. Get around this devilish plot by topping your slices with the sauce you find over by the pasta. And don’t touch the pasta.
- Alternate strategy: load up on salad. One day, I plan to show up at CiCi’s, grab the canister of cherry tomatoes, and have at it. Some of the salad fixin’s (including the lettuce) can provide a delicious meal that’ll certainly cover your bill after just a few plates.
Case Study: Old Country Buffet
Menu: Salad, meats, entrees, soups, desserts, various beverages.
Price: About $10 for dinner.
Overview: When America says “buffet,” Old Country Buffet is what comes to mind–dozens of food stations featuring more dishes than you’ll ever know how to make. Unfortunately most of the food is of inferior quality, but there are a few key items you can load up on to make sure you meet your quota.
Strategies for getting your money’s worth:
- Meat for the win! Those carving stations are just begging for your mouth. Don’t hesitate to stand there while the chef cuts slice after slice and loads your plate full. Ignore the groans and grimaces of other patrons. Get. That. Meat.
- Watch out for those tricky entrees. “Ooh, chicken casserole. It’s meat, so it’s a good deal.” Wrong! Meat may be an ingredient, but you’re probably being drawn into a food composed of cheaper ingredients like bread or veggies. You’d do best to avoid the entree table completely and compose your own dishes… made of at least 95% meat, of course.
- If you must drink, go for the white stuff. If you’re one of those people who must follow eat bite with a beverage, only milk comes close to being a good deal. It’s the most expensive drink per volume at Old Country, and it tastes pretty good too.
Case Study: Chinese & Japanese Buffets
Menu: Sushi, General Tso’s Chicken, and a whole lot of other stuff I can’t pronounce.
Price: Under $10 for lunch, $12-15 for dinner.
Overview: There is some yummy food to be had at the various types of Asian buffets. You’ll find some of your favorite items from the classic Chinese carry-out menu along with some other… surprises.
Strategies for getting your money’s worth:
- Eat what you like. It’s not too hard to get your money’s worth at these places. As always, shoot for the meat, but feel free to feast on sushi and other pricey items. Foods to avoid: spring and egg rolls, soups (except miso soup, which is too tasty to pass up), and dishes composed of mostly vegetables.
- Don’t try new things. Buffet time, despite its limitless food supply, is not the time to experiment. You might think that big white puff ball thing is a delicious pastry, but when it takes you two hours to chew it, you might quickly lose your appetite.
- Beware of the desserts. They look weird for a reason–because they taste weird, too! Those sheets of cake and bite-sized cookies might look appetizing, but they’re often very dry. Soft-serve ice cream is hit or miss at Asian buffets, but it’s probably your best bet for dessert.
Oh, one last bonus buffet tip, because I know I’ll hear about it if I don’t come out and say it:
- Buffets are bad for you. Yeah, you probably shouldn’t follow any of the above advice if you’re looking for a healthy dining experience. Instead, listen to what this article says about eating healthy at a buffet. Or just do the exact opposite of everything I said earlier.
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184 Responses
1.
Clever Dude
February 23rd, 2007 at 12:41 am
One place you’ll never get your money’s worth, but has amazing food is Fogo de Chao.
However, if you work right across the street and steer your boss towards taking your team there for a celebration lunch, then it’s well worth the cost (of nothing).
Nine of us spent about $650 there…for lunch. That was the buffet, 1-2 beers each, and maybe an espresso each. Whew!
Did I say the meat is great! Oh, and the smoked salmon…
2.
Ryan
February 23rd, 2007 at 3:35 am
I just found your site. This was a great post. I was laughing the whole way through.
I love buffet food. mmm mmm good stuff. You didn’t mention the buffet breakfasts! Some friends and I used to eat at some kind of chain buffet for breakfast and it was delish. I don’t know if we worked on getting out moneys worth but it sure felt like it. Belch!
3.
Terry
February 23rd, 2007 at 6:18 am
Oh how I enjoyed reading this! I am with Ryan when it comes to breakfast buffets. I haven’t been to a Shoney’s breakfast buffet lately, but they used to be super-fine.
4.
Cap
February 23rd, 2007 at 7:34 am
being able to see your feet (or other body organs *wink wink*) is overrated. count me in for breakfast buffets. nothing beats spending the rest of the day switching between moaning from the pain and having a smirk on your face from the joy.
5.
Jenn @ Frugal Upstate
February 23rd, 2007 at 9:40 am
Ahh, how I miss Cici’s Pizza! One frugal strategy there, skip buying the drink and just do water. Buying the soda doubles the price of the buffet
and those cinnamon roll thingys they make are evil! Noone can just eat one of those things. . . . .
6.
Nick
February 23rd, 2007 at 10:19 am
D’oh, how could I forget about the water at CiCi’s??? The sodas are probably where they go from losing money to making it. I’ll add a note to the article. Thanks for the reminder, Jenn!
7.
Wisely Sunshine
February 23rd, 2007 at 1:46 pm
I really enjoy read this post. As much as I want to try your method, I don’t think I can eat that much. I only weight less than 90 pounds, so my solution is not going to the buffet.
8.
~Dawn
February 23rd, 2007 at 7:29 pm
Bringing a book- that would put me there for two meals!
9.
mapgirl
February 25th, 2007 at 11:01 am
Guys! Guys! Malibu Grill aka The Boo. Cheaper than Fogo de Chao. I should ask my boss to take me there for my birthday. The only thing is be careful at any restaurant or buffet. You could choke on the food. (I think that’s why my boss no longer goes to The Boo regularly. Had a Heimlich incident.) (Or else Minerva. Do you guys have that in MD?)
Nick, wait till you hit 30. You’ll probably actually gain a whole entire pound! Your metabolism WILL slow down. Take it from me. I finally weighed 115 after college once I learned to enjoy drinking.
Good advice. Meat is the way to go, or at least the fancy stuff you won’t normally make at home. I hit up the seafood stuff at Chinese buffets, especially the dishes with lobster sauce. It’s quite easy for me to eat 2.5 plates of food at an Asian/Indian buffet place, but you definitely have to know what to pick. (Also, it helps to know the owners, then the free drinks abound, and they tell you what’s freshest. *winky*)
Tea is cheap, but it really does aid the digestion. Same with the miso soup. So if you have to have some liquid, go for soup instead of water. At least it’s “value-added water”. Also, keep in mind how much salt is on the food.
10.
Nick
February 25th, 2007 at 11:07 am
Heh, “value-added water.” I’m ordering that the next time I’m at a restaurant.
“Excuse me. What are your value-added waters of the day?”
11.
ispf
February 25th, 2007 at 11:44 am
This post should fall in the subliminal advertisement category
I hadn’t been to Cici’s in such a long time, and after reading this post, I had to revisit. I dont know if it is a new thing, but there were making pizzes with fresh dough right there in front of our eyes. Anyway, I would have made you proud yesterday with all the pizza/salad/brownie binging 
[...] Yes, of course, I am talking about Food! Nick at Punny Money has a funny article titled Eat Your Money’s Worth at Any All-You-Can-Eat Buffet. [...]
12.
OneEye
February 26th, 2007 at 4:54 pm
Those Brazilian meat orgies are the way to go. My friend went to one and got kicked out after 4 hours. He got his money’s worth first.
13.
cindy@staged4more
February 26th, 2007 at 5:34 pm
LOVE this post! me and my family are avid buffet eaters. this past winter break, we road tripped down to vegas (we live in sf bay area) and ate buffet for every meal. and we “trained” prior going on the trip, haha! our favorite is todai seafood restaurant. it’s all you can eat sushi, seafood, lots and lots of meat & carbs, and lovely desserts like crepes, cakes, etc. just thinking about it is making me hungry!
cheers,
cindy
14.
mbhunter
March 8th, 2007 at 10:59 pm
Nick, I think you might be one of the funniest men in personal finance. This is money.
This is exactly why I don’t go to AYCE buffets often. Because I will try to eat my money’s worth!
15.
William
April 24th, 2007 at 12:08 pm
Great advice on getting the most out of buffets. I generally try to take it easy or avoid buffets for health reasons, but Ci-Ci’s is certainly a weak spot.
16.
Munnybagz - 13 year old financial wizard
April 24th, 2007 at 7:50 pm
We have one thing in common! I ate a whole medium pizza from Panago’s and LOST a pound….
17.
Mark
June 30th, 2007 at 3:52 pm
Hey, you gotta try the Carving Station in Lake Buena Vista. Alternate between meat & crab!! nothing better.
18.
Jonathan
August 20th, 2007 at 9:47 am
A really good all you can eat Chinese Buffet where I like to pig out at. http://www.buffetmetro.co.uk
19.
Obbop
August 22nd, 2007 at 7:53 am
Rookie!!!!!
At a buffet arrive during lunch and pay a lower price. Linger and receive the yummier stuff put out for dinner. I have never been asked to pay the additional fee for dinner vice lunch.
Consuming mass quantities at a Chinesey-food joint can be interesting. Some try to limit your intake by having emplyees hovering around your table, steely glares piercing you. When Mama-san stands in the kitchen doorway staring and glaring you know you’ve more than eaten your money’s worth.
But, the traditional non-Americanized-profit-before-anything buffet owners react differently. Copious eating is a compliment to the cook/host in traditional Chinese culture (you learn a lot in a Chinese POW camp). I’ve had the cook and his assistants come to my table and bow, smiles plastered across their oblate-sphereoid-shaped heads. The server translated their words….. I was told I honored them by eating five full plates of their food.
Smiling, I arose and headed for the serving line, telling them I’d do my bestest to eat five more plates.
20.
Nick
August 22nd, 2007 at 9:37 am
I was told I honored them by eating five full plates of their food.
Awesome story, Obbop. And great advice on the coming-for-lunch, staying-for-dinner approach!
21.
Millionster
September 26th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
ROFLMAO! I love these posts.
22.
Millionster
September 26th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
lmao. second stop meat. !!
23.
Obbop
December 1st, 2007 at 5:09 pm
Having attained a rotund bulbousness akin to the Pillsbury Dough Boy, being mistaken for Sanata Claus by packs of hideous vile spawn kidlings, being unable to heft my pants atop the pregnant-like bulge of the belly that protruded so far it met people before I do…..
I was forced to limit the caloric intake.
Sniff.
The first thing I did was to stop engorging myself at buffets.
Then I ceased eating the most calorie-laden fare and practiced portion control.
It was horrific, but I forced myself to do the dastardly deeds.
Sniff.
I am now 23 pounds lighter with another 25 to go…. and I WILL do it.
Oh how I look forward to attaining my goal.
When I do, the first thing I’m gonna’ do is reward myself…..by gorging myself at buffets, every day for a month!!!
Wheeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
24.
William
December 26th, 2007 at 6:08 pm
It is pretty easy to get my money’s worth at Cicis. No, they are not frozen pizzas. I see them making the Pizzas fresh with lots of dough, but they are quite miserly with the toppings. They seem to do better when you make a special request, like “double ham.” Another technique I have used to counter this is to scrape the topping from several pizza slices onto the same slice – or simply using a fork to scrape the toppings on top of my salad. . . yummy! If they see you doing this, they might look at you funny. I usually stack a used plate over the uneaten dough to hide the evidence.
Like you mentioned, the salad bar has items that can make this buffet an excellent value. The option of romaine lettuce is more expensive and healthier than iceburg. You can find cheese, mushrooms, banana peppers, cherry tomatoes, and other pricey goodies on this salad bar.
In addition to the marina sauce, they also offer alfredo sauce, but like you say, don’t touch the PASTA!!!
When you are stuffed silly on pizza topping and expensive salad items, celebrate with a plate of brownies!
25.
JB
January 4th, 2008 at 3:19 am
This is a great post! I loooove buffets too. Went to the Carnival Rio Buffet in Vegas twice for vacation and stayed for two hours. Definitely got my money’s worth.
I agree, it’s meat all the way and I’m a fan of fancy desserts I do not know how to make at home. Or anything I don’t know how to make at home. Avoid pasta too at all costs, especially those with marinara that could easily be made at home. Also, some places have the exact same stuff for lunch and dinner, but lunch is cheaper, so, go for lunch!
I do the water thing everywhere. Not only is it cheaper but healthier as well.
26.
Minimum Wage
January 9th, 2008 at 8:31 am
A buffet is a rare treat for me, but when I go I’ll arrive between 1-2. This way I mostly avoid the lunch rush while still getting the lower lunch price, plus it affords a couple hours of leisurely dining before the place starts filling up for dinner. It also allows me to enjoy lunch AND dinner at a reasonable price.
The downside is that slower-moving items may be less fresh or may require a wait before the next batch is put out.
Pizza Hut has a weekday lunch buffet but it ends at something like 1:30, so I don’t go there.
27.
jack johnson
February 15th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
hey what about mickey dees dollar menu you wont have to eat to much to get your moneys worth. heh heh
jack u.r. johnson
28.
Maria
April 21st, 2008 at 8:25 am
Are there any all-organic, natural food buffets for under $15?
No?
Looks like we’ll be eating at home again tonight.
29.
Joeseph
June 14th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Very funny, looks like I can skip dinner tonight as I got full just from reading your buffet blog.
30.
bec
June 29th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Man this was funny. I dont beleived I laughed so hard in a while. Quite enjoying.
31.
Arvind Ranganath
August 14th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Awesome Post !
Sure Will try out some of your techniques, but serious eating apart, your “serious” method of “instruction” sure did tickle my ribs for a bit!
Keep the faith!
32.
Programmer in NJ
September 9th, 2008 at 11:29 pm
LOL hilarious! I love buffet all you can eats also (probably too much) awesome post!
33.
hieyeglasses
September 10th, 2008 at 8:06 am
Love this tactic! Wish it works for me, I am such a terrible eater!
34.
J
September 30th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Lol, as everyone is saying this post is hilarious and couldn’t agree with you all more, I love it :O)
Have a question for all of us buffet fans….something I’ve been pondering about and does make sense is that, do any of you notice the tactics that some of the buffet \ all you can eat restaurants use in trying to push out the customers? Since usually it’s already one set price it makes sense in trying to push out the customers with subtleness as soon as possible in trying to save their food (money profits). Some of my friends say I think too much about it or I’m paranoid but I just can’t help but notice some really annoying things while I try to enjoy in my feastings. Like after their staff notices that I’m a large eater I notice kinda out of the ordinary looking patrons that I’m sensing are the restaurant’s hired actors or close friends portraying as ordinary patrons but will talk obnoxiously loud sitting right next to my table and then also the overwhelming flash photos within amonst themselves at their table but aimed in my direction where I’m sure to show up in the background in making me feel uncomfortable and annoyed, and of course the bad service from their waitresses in purposely giving me the wrong drink that I’d ordered.
Would you guys agree with me on this and can see how these are likely tactics from the staff in pushing out customers or am I thinking too much?
Bon appetitie as they say folks ;O)B
35.
elasticwaistbandlady
October 6th, 2008 at 7:05 am
I wrote my own little buffet post yesterday with some valuable insider tips revealed.
We hit the buffet at 3:50 or so because lunch prices change to dinner pricing when the clock strikes 4:00.
By the way, I’ve searched the world over my Buffet Soulmate….and now I’ve found you. I think Buffet prowess should be one of those 29 points of compatibility that they use at match.com.
36.
Boca Raton Cuisine
November 17th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Nice tips… although I think I will stick to the binge and purge method myself haha.
37.
mercola
November 24th, 2008 at 5:28 am
Never thought there was a technique that comes with eat-all-you-cans… Fun post!
38.
Airtight Containers
December 5th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
This is a great post, and I will definitely forward to my husband! When we were first dating he took me to an all-you-can-eat sushi place and pretty much ate nothing but chunks of raw fish for an hour and 15 minutes. Not really a great idea when you’re first dating, if you know what I mean…
39.
lavendarc
January 13th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
My family has always loved buffets, as evidenced from my considerable years as a fat kid. There was very serious economic reasoning behind this love; my stick-thin younger brother started eating like an NFL linebacker at 8, my tank of a sister learned well from him, and you used to be able to go to Old Country Buffet on Saturday just before the end of lunch prices, then get first grabs at the dinner offerings. Excellent. Now that my preschooler eats like his uncle, though only the tender age of three, it seems I will continue to frequent them for some time. If he eats like this now, what will I do if he plays sports? Teachers definitely don’t make enough to support a male athlete teen unless they move in to their friendly local all-you-can-punish-yourself eatery.
Oh, and a note on Chinese buffets? Best. Hangover. Cure. EVER. You’d also be surprised how much of that greasy goodness you can take down when your body’s already punishing you for being stupid last night. Just more proof that MSG cures everything.
40.
James
February 10th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
Wow. I recall years ago going to Pizza Hut and for £5 you could eat all the pizza you wanted. I couldnt imagine doing that these days….why …sensibility around my health…avoiding overloading on carbs and binge eating…i’ve been there and can see the attractions, especially if you are on a tight budget, but not something i would do now..
41.
Kristin
March 24th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
This idea is absolutely fking disgusting. If you really want to save money, buy ingredients and cook for yourself instead of all that revolting nasty cr*p. I want to have the state take away any child of fat fks who frequent all you can eats and haul them off instead of raising them on a diet of absolutely horrible and valueless nutrition. You are acting like it boils down to a question of weight–it’s the health of your insides that matter the most. Thankfully, everyone who eats this cr*p will be dead of rare cancers and strokes at a young age which is a form of population control!
42.
Folding Doors
April 13th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Hahahahaha, this is awesome. And I LOVE (and hate) CiCi’s. This should be titled “How to die happy (the hungry man’s guide).”
Thanks for the laugh.
– David
43.
Ben
April 25th, 2009 at 4:13 am
@Kristin
MEOW!
I do agree to a certain extent. Eating at the buffets everyday is a pretty poor lifestyle choice. I 100% agree that if you take children to them often then that is a really poor choice.
I think it must be mainly a ‘guy thing’, how it boils down to the weight of food you can consume. Nick @ 73lbs of food in one sitting has me beat HANDS DOWN! Just another competition in our eyes I guess.
Anyway if you use buffets as an occasional treat then I dont see any problem. Im off to one today! LOAD ME UP BABY!
44.
Nicole
May 25th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
One thing I like to do at buffets is get a huge plate of salad and fruit as my first plate, and eat it (with a low fat dressing) and then sit there for like 30-40 minutes after until I digest it all, then I go on to the meat
45.
Finance Kitty
May 29th, 2009 at 9:57 am
Cici’s may be cheap, but they more than make up for it by having really bad pizza.
46.
koozie
June 17th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
I’m able to eat 73 pounds of food in one sitting and not gain an ounce. This has spelled disaster for many area all-you-can-eat buffets whose owners break down and cry when they see me coming. I am a master of eating, and you can be too.
47.
Dining Tables
June 20th, 2009 at 8:55 am
HA ha i bet owners have started a black list for people who can eat huge amounts. No doubt that you are on the top of that list
. I do love all u can eat too and take pride in leaving knowing ive left them in the red.
48.
ashley nicky
July 6th, 2009 at 2:30 am
It’s so funny, drinking as little as possible then meat and meat, this is just what I have done!
49.
how to stop cravings
July 17th, 2009 at 8:24 am
I used to love buffets, but I haven’t been for a while. You always overeat at buffets, but I always have trouble to get my money’s worth, so my husband had to eat even more
I guess, we should give it another try!
50.
Car Insurance Rates
July 20th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
Nice list! I’ll try not to drink anything next time to see if I can get more in. Vegas, here I come!
51.
Eva Issabela
September 4th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Yes, we should eat what we like instead of including new items because it makes your body maintain naturally, but trying new food may lead you to a phase that you haven’t expected.
You may have seen that some people are not so fat they are thin but they have good health they can fight with 4 or 5 people and can hit them out………………. so it depend what you are eating it is consumed in your body properly or not.
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March 6th, 2010 at 1:59 pm
Hey lard asses…stop eating so sosoosos much food. You’re going to destroy the buffet system for the rest of us normal homo sapiens out there that like to eat a decent amount at a fair price. You seriously all are disgusting and I hope you go to hell for all eternity for breaking the deadly sin of gluttony. You stink bombers.
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iceman
March 7th, 2010 at 9:39 am
its all well and good getting your moneys worth, but you kinda are abusing the system.
Think of it from the businesses point of view. If everyone did what you did then they probably wouldnt make enough profit to keep these buffets going. Spoiling it for the rest of us who just want a large meal for a cheap price
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Chigger
March 19th, 2010 at 12:03 pm
You forgot the ultimate strategy. For those that don’t close between lunch and dinner, just stay there between the meals. Show up for lunch, stuff yourself, read a good book (or watch TV if somewhere like CiCi’s), then enjoy dinner!
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marty
June 14th, 2010 at 7:29 pm
Great points here. I pity the fool that shows up to a buffet and orders a large beer immediately. Rookie move. My only point of contention is to wait a bit afterwards before drinking water or it seems to saturate the food with undesired consequences
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Jessica
July 25th, 2010 at 4:00 pm
My husband eats like that and don’t gain any weight either thats crazy. I guess because he move around a lot and can’t stand still. Nice article!
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July 28th, 2010 at 2:44 am
I was just doing some web browsing on my Garmin Phone during my break at my work place, and I came across something I thought was interesting . It linked over to your website so I clicked over. I can’t really find the relevance between your site and the one I came from, but your site good none the less .
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Opal
September 14th, 2010 at 6:10 pm
All you can eat = the four best words in the English language. There’s a fab all you can eat Indian restaurant in Brighton, England. Also a seafood buffet somewhere in Venice, LA I seem to remember that was phenomenal. Opal.
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February 11th, 2011 at 10:28 am
Allgauer’s Friday Seafood buffet…it is on!!
Hilarious…thanks for the tips!
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February 25th, 2011 at 3:54 am
Was trying to research what i’ll cook for my date. Thanks for the tips!
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March 7th, 2011 at 10:21 am
I to have studied the art of all-you-can-eat buffet restaurants for some time and am also able to consume copious amounts of food after practicing many times.
I suppose I found it quite flattering when I actually got banned from one establishment.
I think this is a superb post and your general buffet tactics are spot on.
Feeling a bit peckish now after reading this.
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March 9th, 2011 at 3:19 am
After eat this so much, can you sleep? Did you have no problems wake up the next day?
Your hungry stomach not so bad and still you know how to prevent any problem. This is good info. I salute you!
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April 6th, 2011 at 11:22 pm
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April 13th, 2011 at 8:41 am
I just used your method yesterday for Texas de Brazil. My brother and I killed the bacon wrapped filet and picanha and didn’t feel like total crap afterwards!
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May 1st, 2011 at 8:36 pm
I live in Lancaster County, PA, the king of all buffets is the Shady Maple Smorgasbord. I’m going tomorrow for my wife’s b-day (in which she gets in for free). I’m going to try your method. I sent this to her and a buddy we’re going with, she laughed the whole way.
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May 11th, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Are u sure u don’t gain any weight eating like that???
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June 13th, 2011 at 4:43 am
Oh how I enjoyed reading this! I am with Ryan when it comes to breakfast buffets. I haven’t been to a Shoney’s breakfast buffet lately, but they used to be super-fine.
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June 21st, 2011 at 3:15 am
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July 16th, 2011 at 7:46 am
Jesus, have some pity on your poor stomach. One of these days when your stomach rebels youll realize what a big mistake you’ve committed eating like that!!!
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July 26th, 2011 at 7:17 pm
Buffets are bad for your body, Yeah; you probably shouldn’t follow any of the above advice if you’re looking for a healthy dining experience. Instead, listen to what this article says about eating healthy at a buffet. Property Marbella
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August 11th, 2011 at 12:02 am
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August 13th, 2011 at 8:04 pm
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August 21st, 2011 at 8:48 am
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August 25th, 2011 at 1:43 pm
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August 28th, 2011 at 3:06 pm
I don’t eat any more at a buffet than I do at home. I never go to a buffet and gorge myself just because I can. The reason I go to a buffet occassionally is because I can eat a spoonful of a few different dishes as well as have a salad and maybe a dessert.
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August 30th, 2011 at 8:04 am
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September 3rd, 2011 at 12:59 pm
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Tia Cu
September 13th, 2011 at 9:59 am
At Asian buffets I skip the meat & go straight to the Crab Legs, Prawns ( Lobster if available) which costs more than prime rib or for lunch (w’ no crab legs) go straight for the sushi (raw fish nigiri). But Stay away from the sushi rolls ( which are mostly rice & will full-u-up! )
120.
Tia Cu
September 13th, 2011 at 10:18 am
Great advice! We always order water at buffets even if tempted by soda pop for only a buck, $1,( a tactic) , at some Chinese buffets, to fill-u-up! A few Chinese buffets will even stop picking up your dirty plates & give you dirty looks ( especially if you’re Asian) if you stay too long or eat too much crab legs. Don’t get intimidated! Just Ignore them & just put the dirty plates at the next unoccupied table. Just another tactic they use to try to force you to leave.
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September 14th, 2011 at 8:12 pm
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September 19th, 2011 at 2:09 am
able to stomach a lot by dinnertime.
Clear the runway. Make sure you pay a nice long visit to the bathroom not long before your visit to the buffet. You’re going to need every last square in
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October 1st, 2011 at 4:22 am
If things like health and being able to see your feet don’t really concern you, here are some tactics for eating your money’s worth at all-you-can-eat buffets. Property Marbella
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October 2nd, 2011 at 8:40 am
I like to read your posts because of those great pictures you draw
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October 3rd, 2011 at 1:16 pm
At Asian buffets I skip the meat & go straight to the Crab Legs, Prawns ( Lobster if available) which costs more than prime rib or for lunch (w’ no crab legs) go straight for the sushi (raw fish nigiri). But Stay away from the sushi rolls ( which are mostly rice & will full-u-up! )
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October 25th, 2011 at 3:56 am
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November 1st, 2011 at 10:51 am
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November 22nd, 2011 at 7:23 pm
At Asian buffets I skip the meat & go straight to the Crab Legs, Prawns ( Lobster if available)
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James Ryan
November 25th, 2011 at 4:55 am
I enjoy taking girls to all you can eats for first dates.
I find there’s nothing quite like having the meat carved straight into your mouth by the chef to instantly make a girl find you super attractive.
The last date was at a Brazilian steak house. Upon entering, i immediately enquired about their carving policy and table etiquette, and as good luck would have it, they hit me with the information i needed to hear….
Within 5 minutes we were seated at our table, i had my feet up on it, leaning back in my chair on 2 legs with my mouth open. I closed my eyes and summoned the chef to randomly carve the various delicious meats straight into my mouth.
2 hours later with no conversation, and after half a cow, 2 chickens, the back end of a pig, and a lamb, i was still standing (sitting). They had run out of meat.
Thankfully, my heroic meat eating exploits rendered my date to be totally infatuated with me, to the point of her doing anything to make me happy. As a gesture of love and oneness she did what any good caring partner would do in such a situation upon realising that her man was now without meat, and she offered herself up to the BBQ.
Skillfully, the chef basted her in delicious sauces and fats, and brought her out to me, cooked to the medium rare perfection i usually only dream of. Needless to say, i devoured her too leaving only her fingers and toes to remain intact to her skeleton.
Ahhh, such a sweet girl….
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November 29th, 2011 at 9:47 pm
As bad as it sounds that article may be right. In my opinion now you can buy health, but it will cost you a lot of money… unfortunately
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December 1st, 2011 at 5:36 am
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December 9th, 2011 at 7:52 pm
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January 3rd, 2012 at 9:36 am
So, how are you writing all this, how do you find your inspiration?
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January 12th, 2012 at 9:45 pm
Love all you can eat! The Brazilian all you can eat are my favourites cause I love steak
I also know somebody in Brazil who ate so much he got kicked out of the all you can eat place with his money back 
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February 1st, 2012 at 9:20 am
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February 14th, 2012 at 8:41 am
Hi there! Great article! I was recently at a japanese all you can eat sushi place(Ye’s Sushi in Kitchener, ON, I HIGHLY recommend it), you know the kind where you write down what you want and they bring it to you, and I was there for 2.5 hours! just eating constantly. I think the green tea i had helped me digest all the food I was eating and because I was eating slowly and one thing at a time I wasn’t overwhelmed by all the food!
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February 16th, 2012 at 12:20 am
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April 9th, 2012 at 2:40 am
If I might —perhaps you should consider adding a few images. I don’t mean to disrespect what you’ve said ; its very enlightening, indeed. However, I think would respond to it more positively if they could be something tangible to your ideas
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April 17th, 2012 at 12:33 pm
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April 21st, 2012 at 12:31 pm
Good article. However, I don’t really eat much, so when I go to to an all-you-can-eat I end up wasting my money!
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May 29th, 2012 at 9:53 pm
I didn’t mean to imply that Punny Money readers are more likely to save a refund. In fact, Punny Money readers probably care more about their finances and adjust their W-4s to minimize or avoid a refund in the first place.
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June 9th, 2012 at 11:48 pm
Cici’s Pizza is the worst! I always eat way too many calories when I go there. They don’t have anything that is good for you. I truly believe that eating out is making American’s fat.
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June 21st, 2012 at 2:22 pm
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August 27th, 2012 at 3:23 pm
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Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
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[...] of the funniest sites provides advice “if things like health and being able to see your feet don’t really concern [...]
Pingback by 202. Value for money | The Road to Redemption — December 10, 2010 @ 12:20 pm
[...] to quite a few articles, like Eat Your Money’s Worth At Any All-You-Can-Eat Buffet, a buffet meal is all about the strategy. If you know how you’re going to approach this event [...]
Pingback by The All You Can Eat Food Buffet: Is It Worth Your Money? — April 8, 2011 @ 2:25 am
[...] and sugary carbonated sodas, saving the dessert for the very last. As for packing down food, I use every technique in the book: The Fat Pants, The Tongan Twist, and, of course, “Clearing the Runway” (see more [...]
Pingback by Bryan vs the Sunk Cost Fallacy | Bryan vs the internet — April 11, 2011 @ 12:20 am
[...] go get in line for the buffet. (As a side note, if you are a fellow buffet-lover, you should read this post by Nick @ Punny Money – funny and informative – can it get any [...]
Pingback by What I Do to Live Frugally — April 18, 2011 @ 10:25 pm
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Pingback by What I Do to Live Frugally — April 19, 2011 @ 10:23 pm
[...] Check it out. [...]
Pingback by A Word About Buffets | In Favilla et Cinere — August 15, 2011 @ 7:42 am
[...] Americans know how to put on a good buffet. After reading this hilarious article a while back (http://www.punny.org/money/eat-your-moneys-worth-at-any-all-you-can-eat-buffet/) Josiah and I put those tips to good use at the Golden Corral. I can confirm that we indeed got our [...]
Pingback by We're in Thailand! - Jennifer and Josiah — August 20, 2012 @ 1:48 am