Be Your Own Vending Machine At Work For Fun and Profit
Author: Nick
Category: Money
Topics: business, food, work
Long-time readers will know that I have a penchant for eating. In fact, I just finished eating the entire country of Denmark. Okay, perhaps not Denmark, but a much smaller country nobody really cares about. Suffice it to say I like the yummies.
Usually around mid-afternoon at work, I’ll get the craving for a snack. Over the years, I’ve dealt with this craving in a variety of ways, including:
- Ignoring it. This is what I do about 98% of the time. Part of this is due to my desire not to gain 300 pounds, and part of it is due to my desire not to lose 300 pounds… sterling. Get it? It’s a currency joke. That would have killed at the World Bank. Anyway…
- Being prepared for it. A couple of years ago, I usually made sure to have a supply of snacks on hand at work for when this craving called. My favorite emergency food supply consisted of a six-gallon tub of assorted snackery including pretzels, cheese puffs, and other stuff with no nutritional value whatsoever. I had to give up this plan, however, as I would sometimes polish off the entire tub in one day if things weren’t going well at work.
- Giving in to the vending machine. This is probably the worst way to deal with mid-afternoon snack cravings. I’ve only done it a few times in nearly five years and always because my brain and stomach just wouldn’t shut up otherwise. I try to keep my wallet low on cash just so I’m not tempted to go the vending machine route at work.
There’s one more snack-attack counterattack tactic that I’ve been employing for the last couple of years: giving in to the communal snack box. Working in a computer lab environment, the head of the lab often goes out and buys snacks for everyone else who works there, usually asking for a small donation put into a change bucket to cover the cost of the snack. For instance, our current “Lab Daddy” purchases boxes and boxes of packages of pretzel bites and requests a donation of 28 cents each time you take a bag to help cover his costs.
It occurred to me earlier today, while eating my sixth bag of lab pretzels in as many days, that this little enterprise is quite ingenious and perhaps a bit profitable. Where does the profit come in? Consider how the normal computer lab pretzel exchange works:
- Choose your snack. Several varieties are available!
- Put 28 cents in the Pretzel Fund.
- Oh wait, all you have are dollar bills.
- The Lab Daddy just saw you take some pretzels. You better put in something or you’ll look like a cheap jerk.
- You repeat this each time you go for a bag. The 28-cent requested donation becomes 72 cents of profit for Lab Daddy.
Now I know Lab Daddy isn’t really out to make a profit on this; he’s just being really nice and saving us from having to spend a dollar on the same bag of pretzels in the company vending machine. And despite the “honor system” in place, I’m sure not everyone is putting in their 28 cents per bag. A more sinister person, however, such as yourself, might see this as the perfect opportunity to squeeze a few extra pennies out of your day job. Assuming you have trustworthy co-workers, it just might work too!
Oh, and in case you ever find yourself on the other side of this delicious scheme, here are a few strategies to help make sure you’re not putting extra pennies in your Lab Daddy’s pockets:
- Use exact change, or take more than one. For pretzels that run 28 cents a bag, either put in a quarter and three pennies, or take three bags and hide the other two for later.
- Announce your intentions. If Lab Daddy is watching your pretzel pickup, and you only have large bills, toss one into the donation bucket in plain sight and say something like “That should cover me for the next X bags.”
- Bring your own snacks. This way, you know you’re paying 28 cents a bag for your pretzels. Just don’t forget them at home, and don’t go through them faster than you would the communal stash.
- Open a competing snack shack. Beat Lab Daddy at his own game by starting your own vending service. If necessary, price below your cost to start and you’ll drive Lab Daddy out of business. Of course, if you ever need Lab Daddy’s help with your work, expect him to change your account passwords and delete your files at random.
A word of caution before starting a communal snackateria at your workplace: Be sure to keep it on the down-low. Otherwise you might risk people from other departments sneaking through for a freebie. Or you might earn the ire of your workplace’s vending contractors who could see you as stealing their business; don’t blame me if you leave work late one evening only to be blocked in by 12 Coca-Cola machines.
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69 Responses »
1.
Steward
August 25th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
Another thing that I have thought of is to start a mini-cafeteria. I always see coworkers go down stairs and hand over a small piece of their soul to the crazy Asian sorceresses that work in the deli. Good, healthy food is relatively cheap to make, so I could really make a killing if I got enough people interested in eating my wholesome and delicious soylent green.
2.
James
August 26th, 2008 at 9:38 am
Instead why don’t you just go out and pay for all of your own snacks. These vending machines like to swipe your money from you and take your soul… No I mean it. What do you think happens when your chips get stuck in the vending machine. That’s right you don’t want to pay for two bags of chips, instead you walk away and give the next person two bags of chips. Long story short, Don’t Use Vending Machines.
3.
Kyle
August 26th, 2008 at 10:49 am
I just bring a tub of trail mix from home. The cost comes out to something like a nickel per serving and it’s actually good for you, unlike pretzels.
4.
Obbop
August 26th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Ever notice those seldom-used vending machines, usually in a public area?
By the accumulated dust and grime and never seeing any empty product slots one can only imagine how long the offerings have huddled inside, yearning to be free.
I have never read of any illness or deaths resulting from somebody buying and eating the ancient fare.
So, if those product-types remain edible and non-life threatening for millenia, I can only pander as to the ingredients.
I believe it is best to shun food having a longer life-expectancy than I do.
5.
Brad
August 27th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
These are some great ideas for snacking at work. Personally, I try to make sure that I take all the snacks I might want, or need, with me to work because we don’t have the option of a vending machine.
6.
Mrs. Micah
August 28th, 2008 at 8:05 am
My last library had a cabinet full of snacks in the employee break room. They were often bought somewhere like CostCo, so they cost even less than if I bought them in semi-bulk in the local store. But I used my coin jar to but them. Or I made change from the tub o’ payment. Then I’d leave my change in my locker for next time. Worked pretty well.
7.
Click Here
August 28th, 2008 at 11:09 am
I know a girl whose high school teacher had one of those small vending machines in his classroom. He pocketed the profits. The guy was selling candy to kids whose brains need healthy food. Totally immoral.
8.
mbhunter
August 30th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
I did this in graduate school. I even managed to con my vehicled classmates into taking me to Sam’s Club to load up.
Just be sure to accept the new Presidential Dollar Coins if you’re on federally-funded property. It’s the law.
9.
Ritesh
September 25th, 2008 at 11:14 am
Dude, you are funny as hell ! I just came acorss your website ! I am going to add this to my favorite blogs.
Good work! Your cartoons are really very funny ! Keep up the good work.
10.
SoLinkable
September 27th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
I’m quite lucky. Our company is rather small, and as such the R&D and marketing people work in the same building. Marketing regularly hosts luncheons and other fancy promotions for outsiders in which food is served. Once the guests have left, this food is then passed on to R&D where we collectively devour every last thing. Quickly. VERY quickly. And so, because of this I don’t need to worry about snacking… Or so it would seem. I find out just how addicted I am to the regular marketing leftovers whenever they don’t have any (or don’t bring them out). Its awful, more than once I’ve had to trek to the corner store to get my fix.
11.
Air Jordans
October 25th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
IF you’re crazy like Dwight from the office, fill the vending machine with fruits and vegetables!
12.
Buck Thompson
December 1st, 2008 at 1:40 am
Very well said about the small business plans.And it helped me a lot and i have learn so many things regarding the small business plan. i enjoyed the blog very much.Free advice to entrepreneurs as well as small and medium enterprises on a whole range of issues affecting them is widely available from such organizations. was very nicely said.
13.
Stephen McFarlane
December 2nd, 2008 at 9:39 pm
These are some great ideas for snacking at work. Personally, I try to make sure that I take all the snacks I might want, or need, with me to work because we don’t have the option of a vending machine.
14.
AliceIacuzzo
July 13th, 2009 at 12:10 am
Thanks for sharing this funny post with us in busy daily life!
15.
Alcyone
June 8th, 2010 at 4:26 am
Brilliant cartoon and I like the world bank gag as well!
On a serious note, bring your own snacks, at least that way you have a fighting chance to make them healthy ones. Just don’t go shopping when you’re really hungry. Alcyone.
16.
Saving Money
June 14th, 2010 at 6:40 am
Workplace vending machines are big business. The one by me is constantly being ravaged by hungry coworkers.
17.
Digital Media Sales Jobs
June 17th, 2010 at 8:12 am
I wish if i could also have the same vending machine who can grant my wishes like as it does in all the occasions and i can imagine the fun i would have at my workplace. I would never let the genie go away until he grants my all the three wishes.
18.
computer freezing
June 18th, 2010 at 11:24 am
Very funny post. Well I guess it helps to bring your own snack once in awhile to save you the trip to the vending machine and have this tendency to get more that what you are craving. Or better yet, beat Lab Daddy to his own “business” lol.
19.
ximike2101
July 24th, 2010 at 4:16 am
That’s right you don’t want to pay for two bags of chips. Instead of you walk away and give the next person two bags of chips.
20.
ximike2101
July 26th, 2010 at 1:37 am
That’s right you don’t want to pay for two bags of chips, instead you walk away and give the next person two bags of chips.
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MAC Cosmetic
July 27th, 2010 at 8:18 pm
Beauty can be a very wonderful thing. Being confident with your beauty at a celebration grabs attention.
22.
Discount Office Supplies
August 5th, 2010 at 9:22 am
At work, the items in the vending machine are subsidized and everything is a quarter. It is tough to resist snacking since everything is cheap relative to other vending machines
23.
MissSapphire
August 11th, 2010 at 2:33 am
May I say that I like your drawing s lot!
they look really funny (in a good way). Anyway, have a snack while working it may easy your situations. I sometimes get bored of what I’m doing and a chocolate can definitely set me up!
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August 13th, 2010 at 2:11 am
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August 31st, 2010 at 8:24 pm
I wish if i could also have the same vending machine who can grant my wishes like as it does in all the occasions and i can imagine the fun i would have at my workplace.
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September 4th, 2010 at 2:42 am
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September 11th, 2010 at 10:04 am
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flagpoles
September 14th, 2010 at 12:01 pm
I love the cartoons – ciao!
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September 15th, 2010 at 8:13 am
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September 19th, 2010 at 7:59 am
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World of Troll Dolls
September 28th, 2010 at 5:32 pm
The cartoon is so funny! Very entriprising of the Lab Daddy to make a profit!
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October 22nd, 2010 at 7:55 am
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October 22nd, 2010 at 8:07 am
Cartoons were great – give us more please !
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October 25th, 2010 at 7:39 am
Great post my friend… Thanks and keep doing this…
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November 8th, 2010 at 8:50 am
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November 10th, 2010 at 6:43 am
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November 10th, 2010 at 9:15 am
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November 17th, 2010 at 7:42 am
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November 21st, 2010 at 11:25 pm
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December 1st, 2010 at 2:38 pm
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December 3rd, 2010 at 2:44 am
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enigin
February 4th, 2011 at 3:23 am
You made a wonderful discussion on vending machine. I have to agree your words are beneficial for people’s purchases. Thank you. Your cartoons are looking very funny.
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February 5th, 2011 at 5:45 am
You made a wonderful discussion on vending machine…. I have to agree your words are beneficial for people’s purchases. Looking forward to reading your next insightful posts.
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February 7th, 2011 at 10:49 pm
I think this is very well said about the small business plans. It really helped me a lot and I have learnt so many things regarding the small business plan. I enjoyed the blog very much.
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February 10th, 2011 at 10:03 pm
I think this is very well said about the small business plans. It really helped me a lot and I have learnt so many things regarding the small business plan. I enjoyed the blog very much.
46.
Overhead Cranes
April 10th, 2011 at 11:36 pm
Thanks for sharing this funny post with us in busy daily life! I really appreciate it. Hope will post again soon.
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April 12th, 2011 at 4:02 am
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June 14th, 2011 at 7:59 pm
I have all of my expenses mapped out, which allows me to put aside a little bit every week as savings, so I soon have saved up enough money for a major purchase.
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June 20th, 2011 at 10:14 pm
I just bring a tub of trail mix from home. The cost comes out to something like a nickel per serving and it’s actually good for you, unlike pretzels.
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July 22nd, 2011 at 5:32 am
This blog is very interesting and valuable, in this blog author gives you the information about vending machine that you can buy vending machine and earns money as well as enjoy fun. The cartoon diagram is so interesting and a silent message to the all people of world. Please try to understand its message and try to do according to the message. Thanks.
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RV Storage in Orange County
August 17th, 2011 at 2:19 am
Just finished eating the entire country of Denmark. Ok, maybe not in Denmark, but a much smaller country that nobody cares. Suffice it to say I like the yummies.This blog is very interesting and valuable blog
53.
RV Storage in Orange County
August 17th, 2011 at 2:20 am
Just finished eating the entire country of Denmark. O k, maybe not in Denmark, but a much smaller country that nobody cares. Suffice it to say I like the tummies.This blog is very interesting and valuable blog
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August 18th, 2011 at 2:58 am
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55.
الرياض
August 28th, 2011 at 10:14 pm
I did this in graduate school. I even managed to con my vehicled classmates into taking me to Sam’s Club to load up.
56.
Property Marbella
September 4th, 2011 at 7:14 am
A word of caution before starting a communal snackateria at your workplace: Be sure to keep it on the down-low. Otherwise you might risk people from other departments sneaking through for a freebie. Property Marbella
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September 14th, 2011 at 7:15 pm
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58.
homeowners insurance florida
September 19th, 2011 at 6:02 am
What do you want to know about vending machines? How to steal money or products from them or how to load one or perhaps you need to repair one. Please make yourself clearer on what you want to know and perhaps people will be able to answer your question.
59.
homeowners insurance florida
September 19th, 2011 at 6:02 am
Actually, the vending machine is smarter than the store clerk because it uses a very sophisticated more pattern plate to compare the one on the tray with a perfect bill. If all the lines don’t line up, it rejects the bill… there are some other things it does to test the bill too, but I’m not going to tell you what they are.
60.
homeowners insurance florida
September 19th, 2011 at 6:03 am
The hardest part about vending is finding a location. Everyone is trying to get into the vending business. If a place doesn’t have machines, its because they dont want them or there is no money to be made there.
61.
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September 19th, 2011 at 6:04 am
Nomally the business gets a cut from the vendor. The vendor owns and operates/stocks/repairs, the machines and pay the store or business owner a small cut to let the machine be there./,/
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October 3rd, 2011 at 8:44 am
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October 6th, 2011 at 4:49 pm
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