Alcohol at the Office: Exciting Innovation or Inviting Intoxication?
Author: Nick
Category: Money
Topics: business, work
As a stockholder of Google Inc. (I own three whole shares), I occasionally get e-mails and letters regarding all sorts of fun Google investor news. Lately a lot of that news has been “our shares are plummeting, you should have sold at $700.” One item in particular I recently read on the Google Investor Relations page caught my eye:
Consumption of alcohol is not banned at our offices, but use good judgment and never drink in a way that leads to impaired performance or inappropriate behavior, endangers the safety of others or violates the law.
My first thought upon reading this was “sweeeeeet.” So were my second through seventeenth thoughts. Eventually, after fighting very hard to resist the temptation to submit my resume immediately, I considered the implications of allowing alcohol consumption at work. First there are the obvious benefits:
- Alcohol can make co-workers easier to deal with. Oh man, I can think of a dozen people where I work that are fifty times more mellow and easier to work with when they’ve had a drink or five.
- Alcohol inspires creativity. If you don’t believe me, just keep in mind that the following things were invented by drunk people: electricity, computers, the internet, and reality television. Just make sure you’re not too drunk that you can’t remember your great ideas or at least write them down for later.
- Alcohol can benefit worker productivity. Allowing personnel to drink at work gives them one less reason to want to go home, so they’ll be more than happy to put in the longer hours today’s work environment demands.
- Alcohol helps with the Monday Blues. After drinking your weekend away, the last thing you probably want to do is go to work Monday morning. But if you can bring your friends Heineken and Captain Morgan with you, Mondays won’t be quite so bad after all.
- At least it’s not drugs. Employees who can drink at work will be far less likely to sneak out for a quick “smoke” break, and I ain’t talkin’ ’bout cigarettes. And while some people might argue that alcohol is a drug, I would argue that those people should shut the hell up and have a drink.
Of course, there are also some drawbacks to allowing employees to drink while working.
- Alcohol can impair judgment. “Should we buy out our competitor for $100 million when it’s only worth $5 million? No! That would be stupid! [Five drinks later.] Yes! That would be awesome!”
- Alcohol makes people tired and/or slow. While alcohol might keep your workers happier and working longer, they might spend some of those hours re-reading the same paragraph 47 times or sleeping under their desks. Counteract this unfortunate side effect of alcohol by blaring extremely loud heavy metal throughout your office building.
- Drunk people sometimes fight more. This one sort of speaks for itself, so I’ll also note that a policy allowing alcohol at work is not compatible with policies allowing guns and knives at work. One or the other, people!
- Alcohol can inspire all sorts of bad behavior. If your workplace already suffers from numerous sexual harassment or ethnic discrimination complaints, letting workers drink might not improve things.
- Other people might look down on your business if everyone’s drinking all of the time. Then again, Google seems not to mind if its workers get sloshed on the clock and it has at least 70 billion users worldwide.
In the end, the decision on whether or not to allow alcohol in the workplace should be made on a case-by-case basis and only after careful consideration of numerous factors including but not limited to employee diversity, workplace safety, and worker productivity. And if your place of business decides that openly allowing you to bring a six-pack to your cubicle for lunch isn’t a good idea, you can just pre-mix your booze and sneak it past security in a soft drink bottle like everyone else you work with already does.
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37 Responses »
1.
Naturist Photography
May 20th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
Drinking at the office sounds like a good idea, but it highly depends on what kind of job you are working at. Some jobs you need to be alert to do and these are the jobs I would not suggest drinking at.
2.
Tyler
May 21st, 2008 at 6:09 am
I get to drink at work all the time. Of course, I work in the wine industry, so that kind of goes with the territory…
3.
Amy
May 21st, 2008 at 8:36 am
I used to work at an Internet Service Provider that bought us free beer on Fridays and on management’s birthdays. There was a limit of two but this was still pretty cool. I was on helpdesk and in college at the time so it definitely helped morale. When someone is being ridiculously stupid on the other end of the line having a beer helps you smile and be patient. At least it helped me.
4.
Kyle
May 21st, 2008 at 9:50 am
We have liquor in the break room. I don’t think allowing alcohol is all that uncommon for small technology companies. It’s pretty much an anything-goes-as-long-as-you-get-your-work-done environment.
5.
bk
May 21st, 2008 at 12:00 pm
A big downside you forgot is the costs associated with increased urinal usage. Think of all those extra flushes that will be required and an increased wait time to get a urinal.
6.
Maria @ Financial-Tip
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:04 am
A little spiked coffee in the morning would make for happier employees, I’m sure. I’ll have Irish cream in mine. I suppose I could drink on the job, as a freelance writer, but it’s not something I’ve thought of. Hmmmmm…..
7.
Matt
May 22nd, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Maybe the answer lies here:
http://xkcd.com/323/
8.
Cindy
May 23rd, 2008 at 10:23 am
Working at home in my own office affords me the ability to drink whenever I want; but, as a Mom to a four year old that requires caretaking while I work, I am thankful that I have my own morals to thank for not drinking at the office. Thanks for the cartoon, and the much needed laugh.
9.
A1 Medical Supplies
May 28th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
This is a pretty cool idea. I think finding the happy median between too much alcohol and not enough alcohol could present a problem though. I wonder if any of googles employees use those “nap pods” to sleep off a drunk…
10.
try to make me go to rehab
September 22nd, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Ah yes, who doesn’t do a shot of jaeger during the lunch break, or a quick keg stand when the boss is tied up in a meeting?
11.
Stephani
December 5th, 2008 at 2:42 am
Alcohol in the office specially when somebody is working should be banned.
12.
Mary Ann
April 28th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Addiction to alcohol may create many social and legal problems especially for heavy drinkers. You may fall out with your colleagues at your workplace, with your spouse at home and friends and even strangers. Alcohol addicts are likely to get up late in the morning due to the hangover from drinking in the previous evening. They may reach their office or workplace late. In some cases they may not even reach their office at all. Their productivity may be affected. They may lose their jobs.
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August 28th, 2011 at 11:20 pm
Drinking at the office sounds like a good idea, but it highly depends on what kind of job you are working at. Some jobs you need to be alert to do and these are the jobs I would not suggest drinking at.
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